


Beautifully deceived

by Larrylover3000



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cute Magnus, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, M/M, Sex, Smut, experienced Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25033330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larrylover3000/pseuds/Larrylover3000
Summary: Alec has never met Magnus. But then he does and something about the warlock catches his interest right away. He is just Alec’s type, mysterious, powerful, dark-haired and incredibly sexy. Alec wants just a one-night-stand, but orders from the clave forces him into something more. Alec is so afraid to cross the clave that he hardly cares about the guilt and heartache the stupid mission might leave in its wake.
Relationships: Isabelle Lightwood/Raphael Santiago, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 19
Kudos: 138





	1. When they meet

It all started with the clave contacting the institute through an urgency call. And that was rather unusual, Alec couldn’t even recall the last time something like that had happened. Maybe it was back when the High Warlock of London had managed to open a small passage to edom, causing millions of demons to escape into the shadow world, but Alec hadn’t been old enough to fight them back then. 

Now he was, though. He had just turned twenty and was now legally allowed to participate alongside an adult shadowhunter. So he hurried to the emergency room with Jace, both of them sending each other worried looks. 

“Mom, dad, what’s the problem?,” Alec asked, looking up at the screen in the emergency room, trying to figure out the situation. A picture of a blonde shadowhunter, green eyes and a characteristic scar across the cheek was on display. Alec had no idea who it was. 

“We don’t know anything yet,” his mother said, concern in her voice. She knew as well that this wasn’t just nothing. 

“Who’s that?” Jace asked, always asking the questions that everybody was thinking, but nobody was saying out loud. 

Alec’s mother, Maryse, just sent Jace a serious look, hinting that she didn’t know either and was trying to figure everything out as well. Jace just frowned, tilting his head at the picture. 

“Hey, what’s going on,” a steady voice asked from behind the four shadowhunters, Alec turned to see Isabelle running towards them. 

“Isabelle,” Maryse said harshly, turning to walk towards her daughter. “You have to leave, you can’t be here.”

“Why not? The boys are-” 

“The boys are twenty. You are only seventeen, you are too young,” Maryse had a seriousness in her voice, Alec knew what it meant when his mother spoke with words like that. 

“She is always allowed to do the same things as us,” Jace protested, his golden eyes confused. He never stayed out of anything. 

“The clave sees things differently.” was all that Maryse got to say before the picture on the screen was replaced with a video of Imogen Herondale, her face angry and strict, just as Alec remembered her.

“Institutes all over the world, I ask for your service.” She said, not a single facial expression showing. “There has been a break-in at the headquarters of the clave. The holy book was stolen and is now gone, we have identified the traitor as Jacob Newland the one in the picture, we ask you to inform the clave if you see or hear anything about him or the holy book. We will be sending out people in the areas we suspect he might be hiding, but we need all the eyes we can get.” 

Alec felt his heart racing, hardly able to focus on the small sounds of shock his mother made beside him as she heard the message. The holy book was an only copy and it held runes that were kept a secret from even shadowhunters, too powerful to be seen or used by anyone. 

“If this book lands in the wrong hands, it can create an enemy stronger than we would be able to fight. This is an order.” Imogen finished before the connection was destroyed and the picture of the blonde, green-eyed shadowhunter was on the screen once again. 

“How can someone just steal the holy book,” Isabelle asked, panic in her voice. 

“Izzy, this is not your problem, you have to leave.” 

“Come on Maryse, she is part of this as well,” Jace said, his blonde, long, curly hair sticking to his forehead, his golden eyes piercing his adoptive mother’s.

Alec interrupted the staring with his own concern, both of them turning to look at him. “The holy book has runes designed to overpower the ones we use, designed to withdraw our powers. In the hands of a warlock-”

“That is why we are going to help the clave regain the book.” Her voice hinted that the talk was over, but the thought of the book missing made Alec feel uneasy. 

Before long, it was on the lips of every shadowhunter. There was not much for Alec, Jace and Izzy to do about it, though, they were forced to go back to killing demons and protecting New York, their geographic hunting area. Since that message, they hadn’t heard anything from the clave - but it wasn’t unusual for them to keep information to themselves. 

Weeks passed like that, shadowhunters having gone back to their everyday life, Alec had almost started to forget that the book was missing. It was just that it took too much energy to worry about things that were out of your hands, or so Alec thought. 

“Seriously, fuck the clave,” Jace had said one evening, the anger hardly showing on his fair, beautiful face. His eyes, however, were burning. 

“Stop, Jace, you can’t do anything about this,” Alec had tried. They were sitting in the greenhouse, Jace picking the leaves of a small, red flower. 

“I want to be in on this,” Jace protested. “I don’t want to just sit and wait for someone to destroy me with the book, not knowing when it will happen.”

“You don’t even know if the clave has the book.” Alec said, but noticed the tiredness and the tone of giving up as he spoke the words. “Don’t mess with their orders, Jace.”

Later that night, Jace and Alec were called to the emergency room. Imogen was already on the screen, waiting for them to show. Her lips were a thin line, her face smooth. 

“Alexander Lightwood, Jace Wayland,” she spoke slowly, eyeing both of them through the screen, not even trying to hide it. Alec felt kind of bare and Jace looked to already be planning on how to piss her off. 

“Inquisitor.” Alec said respectfully. Jace just snorted. 

“The clave needs a service from the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane. The New York institute will negotiate with him on behalf of the clave.”

“What service,” Jace asked hardly before she had finished speaking. 

“All you will need to know is that it has to do with memory-transmitting,” Imogen said. It was clear on her face that she wasn’t going to tell more than necessary. 

“He will ask us for more information before making a deal with us.” Jace had the kind of tone in his voice like he was in the mood to challenge someone. He looked rather laid back, for some reason seeming to have the upper hand. Alec knew he liked trouble, and he liked having a say in things. “We will need more details than that.”

“The two of you will do as I say.” Imogen said harshly. Alec sensed something, a kind of intolerance towards the gorgeous shadowhunter with the golden eyes and blonde, curly hair. “And you will only have the information that I give you”

“I know him, he won’t agree to-”

“You know him?” Alec asked before thinking, this being the first time he himself had heard the name Magnus Bane. Usually, he knew the same people as his brother, so it took him a bit by surprise. 

“Yeah? Don’t you?”

“No? Why do you know him?” Alec knew it wasn’t the time to discuss the matter, he was just confused. 

“Magnus Bane can be very demanding. Use your common sense when negotiating,” Alec was interrupted, the inquisitor looking clearly annoyed with the two shadowhunters. It made Alec shut his mouth. 

“Why doesn’t the clave negotiate on behalf of the clave, then?” Jace said, coldness in his voice as he spoke. 

“Brooklyn belongs to your geographic area,” she explained, but Jace wasn’t buying it. 

“I think that is bullshit,” he said. Sometimes Alec was surprised of how much nerve his brother had. He wished Jace had been more obedient, that would probably have saved him from some trouble in the past. “What is the real reason?”

A flicker of something went through Imogen’s eyes, but Alec couldn’t quite see what it was. “Magnus Bane doesn’t make agreements with the clave.”

“What makes you think he’ll make one with us then? Have you forgotten that we will be speaking on behalf of the clave?” Jace crossed his arms. 

“He cares about his connections around the city. He would go far to have an ally in the New York institute.” the inquisitor explained with a cold and empty voice. Jace was just about to protest once again, but he was interrupted. “This is an order.”

Just like that, the screen went black. The blonde brother was already swearing, saying how the clave was manipulative and demanding, but Alec wasn’t really paying attention. 

“Why do you know this warlock?” he interrupted the swearing, a frown on his face. 

“He throws these huge parties where tons of downworlders come.” Jace shrugged, heading for the door

“And you go to these parties?” Alec hurried to follow, a feeling of betrayal filling his body. It was stupid, but he felt kind of left out, why hadn’t Jace ever taken Alec to one of these parties then. 

“Yep, sometimes,” Jace said. He sounded uninterested in the conversation. “You know, just to hook up with random downworlders. Mostly seelies, they can be quite sexy.”

Alec shook his head, having heard enough already.

“So what are we going to say,” Alec asked feeling a bit uncomfortable in the situation. He usually wasn’t one to ask anything from anyone.

“Relax, Alec” his brother said, smirking a bit as he knocked on the big, black door. “Just let me talk.”

“You always say stupid things.” It was true, Jace always ruined things when he opened his mouth. Alec wished Izzy had been there, but she wasn’t allowed to come, apparently because of her age. She always said the right thing and had a way of persuading people. “Izzy should be here, we could use her charm to win this Magnus over.”

Jace didn’t say anything, he just let out a snort, rolling his eyes. Sometimes he was cryptical like that and Alec didn’t really understand what he meant. 

He didn’t have time to think about it, either, before the door opened. Behind it was a tall, slim figure. Dark hair and dark eyes, and Alec had to look closely to be sure, but the boy was wearing eyeliner. And some very tight clothes, how could he even walk in those skinny jeans. 

He felt Magnus eyeing him as well, scanning his body before locking his eyes with Alec’s, a grin playing on his face as he tilted his head slightly. Alec wondered how he had never heard of this guy before. He seemed like someone you would talk about. He was different, in no way like a high warlock. But then again, Alec had never really met a high warlock before.

“Magnus Bane,” Jace said as a greeting.

“Shadowhunters,” the warlock replied with repellion, his voice darker and rougher than Alec had been expecting. It came as a contrast to his light, graceful, slightly feminine expression, but it caught Alec’s interest. “What a pleasant surprise to see you, Jace Wayland”. His voice was thick with irony, making Alec frown.

“We are here on behalf of the clave, asking for a service.”

“I don’t involve myself in shadowhunter business, you must know that.” Magnus said, mainly directed to Jace, but his eyes were still locked with Alec’s. His face was fair and smooth, golden-brown skin and slightly angled eyes, somewhat reminding Alec of a cat’s. “And I never make deals with the clave.”

“The clave is willing to go far for this agreement,” Jace said, keeping his voice steady. He seemed so in control, Alec wondered why he wasn’t just being his usual, annoying self. “If you will hear us out, we will-”

“Not. Interested.” Magnus repeated, dragging out every word. Then the door started closing, swallowing the tall, mysterious figure. Alec reached for it to push it open, putting his weight on the door. 

“Let us just come in for a minute, it won’t hurt, right?” Alec was smiling softly. He thought it was maybe time to make things a bit less formal, it seemed the warlock wasn’t really into the traditional things. He was more of the I-do-things-my-way kind of person, that much was clear to Alec. 

Magnus narrowed his eyes. “I don’t even know who you are,” he said, but Alec heard the tone of interest in his voice. 

“Well, you could, if you let us in,” Alec couldn’t help but say, not remembering if he had ever been that direct before. Maybe he was misunderstanding the warlock, the mysterious look on his face. Alec had nothing to lose, so he didn’t really care.

Magnus thought about it for a second. Then he opened the door again. “Don’t disappoint me, then” he said. 

“I’m sure he won’t.” Alec heard his brother say behind him as he passed the warlock in the door, feeling his gaze on him when he walked inside. A big living room was on the other side, antiques, pictures and tons of books filling up the room, revealing the home of someone who had lived centuries. Alec was amazed, but not letting it show. 

“Don’t sound so confident, shadowhunter. It doesn’t look good on you,” 

“Well, you wanna know what doesn’t look good on you?” Jace shot back. 

“No, I really don’t. And you are in my home, asking me for a favor - behave, will you?” Alec thought that maybe Jace and Magnus were a bit too much alike, because that sounded exactly like something Jace could have said. 

Alec just sent Jace a strict look telling him to stop crossing the warlock. “Yes, he will, ,sorry about that,” Alec said.

Like a child watching their sibling get punished for something, Magnus sent the blonde shadowhunter a look of triumph. Something childish was definitely in his look, this man was a million ages all at once, Alec thought. It was hard to put on a specific number.

“Alright.” Magnus finally spoke. “What service is required.”

“All we know is that it has to do with memory-transmitting.” Jace said slowly, tracing the words out and crossing his arms. He looked impatient. 

“Well, I will need more information than that.” Magnus said it as if it was a given.

“But we don’t know more than that.” 

“Well, then there is no deal.” Magnus said. “Does this have to do with the disappearance of the holy book?”

“How do you even know about that?” Jace asked. 

“I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn, I have contacts, you know.” He seemed so smug as he said it. “I know everything that happens in New York.”

“But it is none of your business whether this has to do with the holy book or not.”

“I know the clave is hiding things, that’s why I don’t make deals with them,” Magnus said, more as if reminding himself, his face still even and smooth. 

“The clave is not hiding anything, they are just-”

“Look,” Alec interrupted, catching Magnus’ dark eyes, sending a soft look. “We want to know more about this, just as much as you do. All we know is that the clave needs to transfer some memories, so we are guessing that they caught the shadowhunter who stole the book - his name is Jacob Newland-”

“Alec, will you shut up.” Jace said angrily, taking a threateningly step closer.

“Let your friend finish talking,” the warlock ordered, words hard in his mouth. 

“He is not my friend. He is my brother.”

Magnus frowned, looking from Jace to Alec back and forth, confusion on his face. That, of course, wasn’t an unusual reaction. Alec sighed. “Not biologically.”

“Oh, I see. I was about to say that someone clearly got the good genes, unfairly shared,” and ouch, that hurt Alec. Almost like a punch in the stomach, but then on the other hand, Jace was incredibly beautiful and people always adored him. He knew the competition was tough.

“No one was asking for your opinion,” Jace was at it again.

“I would actually prefer to discuss this case with your brother, shadowhunter, so you may leave.”

“Well, that’s too bad, I’m not going to!” Jace said determined, shortly after spitting out the word, “Warlock!”

“In that case, let’s see if I’m up for negotiating.”

“You better be, or-”

“Okay, Jace, will you just shut up for a second,” Alec demanded, taking a step forward to put his hand on the arm of the blonde shadowhunter, calming him down. He saw a hint of something pass Magnus’ cat-eyes, but ignored it. “If you just let us-”

“I’m not leaving.”

“It would help a lot if you could just stop being so mean, then,” his dark-haired brother said, and once again, Magnus was sending Jace the look of triumph. The two of them were acting as if this was a competition, both trying to get Alec on their side. 

However, Jace let out a sigh, nodding at Alec’s words. 

“Good, then maybe we can get back to the matter at hand.” Alec turned to look at Magnus, removing his hand from Jace’s arm. “The clave is keeping information from us as well, so all of this is just our best guesses. But we are thinking that Jacob Newland has been caught, but without the holy book. It is the only explanation. And now-”

“They want me to steal his memories, so that the clave can find the book,” Magnus finished the sentence. “What a surprise.”

“It is what we think at least.” 

Magnus thought about it for a second, his cat-like eyes narrowing. To be honest, Alec wasn’t even sure if he himself would have agreed to help. Even though the clave was mainly there to protect the mundanes and make sure that peace was kept between all the children of the shadow world, Alec didn’t really trust the clave, either. He was brought up with their orders, so naturally he never questioned their authority. But he probably would have if he had been Magnus right now. 

“Allright.” Magnus said after a moment. “I’ll do it. But on one condition.”

“Whatever,” Jace spoke, now daring to open his mouth again. 

“I want to keep a copy of the memories i steal. One for the clave, one for me.” It came a bit as a surprise, Alec turned his face to see what Jace thought of this. He seemed just as confused as Alec, frowning slightly. 

“Uhhm..” Alec’s brother stumbled for the right words, shrugging his shoulders. “Do you think we can do that?”

“Probably?” It was more of a question than an answer.

“I need to go call Imogen about this.” Jace stated, avoiding Magnus’ eyes as he pulled out his phone and left the room, walking into something that must be the bedroom. Magnus snorted. 

“Such an idiot,” he said, mostly to himself.

“You know he is my brother, right?”

“Not biologically. Clearly. You seem nothing alike,” Magnus explained, crossing his arms and tilting the weight onto one hip. 

“Why don’t you like Jace?” Alec had to ask, he had been wondering ever since they got there. It wasn’t like Jace was much of a challenge to the warlock, the two of them had nothing to be competing about. Usually that was why people didn’t like Jace.

“He’s arrogant,” was all that Magnus said. 

Alec let out a suppressed laugh, knowing it was true. “Yeah, but it’s part of his charm.” 

“It’s not charming. It’s repelling,” Magnus stated, rolling his eyes. It could have easily been mistaken for jealousy, but Alec sensed that that wasn’t it. However, he couldn’t quite determine what it was, then. “He thinks he is so hot-”

“You don’t think so, though? That must be a first.”

Magnus tilted his head slightly, letting a small smirk play on his lips. “Not really my type.” he then said with his deep and rough voice. Alec laughed.

“What is your type, then? Is it ugly?” The teasing and jokingly tone in his voice was clear, but the warlock hardly widened the smile. Alec did, however, see something in his dark, cat-like eyes. The way they glowed for a short second, something uncertain crossing. 

“You are my type,” the man before him said making Alec blush right away, he felt the burning in his cheeks creep up on him without any warning. “I like how unaware you are of your beauty. It’s quite cute, actually.”

“Well-”

“It wouldn’t be good to say something like that to Jace,” Magnus interrupted, breaking the moment as he turned around to walk towards the big window in the room, looking out. His slim figure moved gracefully, his body seemed so light and fragile. Alec liked the way he looked, the way he moved, he couldn’t deny that. 

“He gets it a lot. He knows he is good looking,” Alec said, taking a couple steps towards the warlock. 

“Is he your type?” Magnus was staring into something in the distance, the sunlight shining through the glass, caressing his face. 

“So you are just assuming that I’m into men,” It made Magnus turn around, his eyes burning with something Alec couldn’t quite recognize. He smiled. 

“But you are, aren’t you?”

“The clave is not willing to let you have a copy of Jacob Newland’s memories. They ask if you would be willing to trade for something else?” Jace interrupted the conversation, coming back into the room, the formal tone back in his tone. 

Alec didn’t turn to look at him and neither did Magnus. The warlock just kept smiling, as if not letting Alec’s eyes go before having heard the answer to the question. Alec wasn’t going to give it to him that easily, though. The other seemed to understand. 

“What a shame,” he said, voice slow and rough. 

“Just name something else.” Jace didn’t seem to notice the tension in the room, or maybe he did and just didn’t care. 

“Okay, I want the golden bracelet that the stone-angel wears.” Magnus then said, as if he had been knowing he was going to ask for it for some time. But then his eyes narrowed slightly, a thought popping into his mind. “And I want your brother to be there when I do the memory-transfer.”


	2. When they get to know each other

Being a part of one of the leading institutes around the world meant that Alec was in contact with the clave a lot. He knew many members, those who made sure that the accords were followed and those who kept a close eye on shadowhunters all over the world. 

But still, looking around the big glass hall, Alec only recognized a small handful. He had never seen that many clave members at one place before, and neither had Jace, he was sure of that. 

For both of them to even be there was an exception, Alec knew that much. Jace had lied about Magnus’ request, he had told the clave that the warlock demanded both if their presence and not just Alec’s. 

And even though Alec hated when Jace lied to the clave, he was really happy to have his brother by his side as they stood there, surrounded by unfamiliar faces with strict looks in their eyes

In the middle of the room was a chair, the blonde, green-eyed shadowhunter Jacob Newland bound to it - Alec couldn’t see his eyes, though, as the shadowhunter was blindfolded. And Alec had seen a lot of people blindfolded by the clave, but never one of their own. It made something turn inside his chest. 

“When will he be here?” Imogen asked impatiently, it having been about half an hour since Magnus had promised to show up. 

“He will be here soon,” Jace said, his voice steady. “He likes to be a bit dramatic.”

Alec believed his brother, the warlock wasn’t stupid enough to stay away from something like this. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who would look for trouble, and this would cut his contact to the clave and their trust to him completely. 

Just as the thought was on his mind, a portal appeared in the room, gleaming purple and blue and Magnus Bane stepped out. The clave members tensed, reaching for their weapons and looking intensely at Magnus, ready for him to make an unexpected move.

Magnus chuckled a bit, his glitter eyeshadow reflecting the many lights in the glass hall as he looked around the hall. Something in his cat-like-eyes seemed so calm.

“Magnus Bane, we were expecting you a bit earlier.” Imogen said, her voice softer than the usual piercing tone. Alec figured she didn’t want to start an argument, since Magnus was the one doing the clave a favor. “But we are happy that you are now here.”

“Don’t you trust me?” Magnus asked, referring to the many clave members filling up the room. 

“They are here to guard Jacob Newland.” Imogen made a motion towards the blonde, green-eyed shadowhunter. “We have asked you here to help us transfer his memories, as you might know.”

Magnus smirked, his dark eyes narrowing. “Yes, I am very aware of that. What about my payment?”

“We will hand you over the golden bracelet once you hand over the memories.” Imogen spoke, something in her voice turning a bit harsher, impatience clear. 

“And the boy with the bright blue eyes?”

A flicker of confusion went through the inquisitor’s eyes, her face loosening a short moment before she stiffened. “Jace Wayland and Alexander Lightwood are here, as you asked. They will be watching from distance.”

Magnus looked around the room and Alec felt his heart starting to race even before their eyes met. And when they did, he felt something twitch inside, like an electrical shock running through his body. Magnus smiled, his dark eyes looking piercingly into Alec’s and Alec had no idea why he was so interested in the guy. He just was. 

“Good,” Magnus then said, his eyes still on Alec’s but only for a short moment before turning towards the blindfolded shadowhunter in the middle of the room.

Alec wasn’t really sure how the warlock managed to look so graceful all the time, but this was no exception. His hands moved swiftly, blue and red sparkles jumping and forming into small pictures, nothing Alec was able to make out. Faces and places started to appear between Magnus’ hands, voices and sounds coming from somewhere in the room. 

It was impossible to see much from where Alec stood, he doubted for no second that it was purposely. The ceremony didn’t last long, within ten minutes Magnus was handing over a small, compact ball of piercing blue light, twitching slightly in his hand. Alec had never seen memories in solid form before. 

Imogen nodded towards a tall, dark-haired shadowhunter standing a couple feet behind her. He was holding a black box as he walked up to Magnus, taking out the golden bracelet and handing it over. Magnus, dramatic as he was, reached out a hand for the shadowhunter to put on the bracelet. He hesitated, turned to look at Imogen who had no facial expression, but put on the bracelet seconds later. 

“Then I guess my job here is done.” Magnus said. 

For some reason it was starting to bother Alec that he hadn’t heard anything from the tall warlock since that day. He usually didn’t misunderstand the signals that much, he had been certain that the warlock was interested. He had said out loud that Alec was his type, for god’s sake.

Why had he even asked for Alec to be there during the memory-transfer it he wasn’t interested in Alec? It made no sense, and now it was starting to get to him. Because, sure, he wouldn’t mind having spent a night in the big apartment in Brooklyn, seeing what the mysterious and gorgeous High Warlock of Brooklyn looked like naked. 

He had been expecting Magnus to come to him after what had happened in the glass hall, but he had just disappeared. And now Alec felt rejected, as if he was a 16 years old teenage girl being dumped for the first time. He felt like his sister back when that guy Raphael had cheated on her. 

“Look, are you bumped because of that asshat?” Jace had asked as they were training one evening, looking seriously at Alec. 

“I don’t think he is an asshat.” 

“Well, I do. He is like that, a natural flirt. Don’t put too much into it,” he continued, his golden hair wet from the sweat, sticking to his forehead. He wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“Does he flirt with you too?” Alec asked, narrowing his eyes. 

“No.” Jace frowned. “I think I would throw a knife at him if he tried to.” Alec just rolled his eyes, feeling annoyed. 

“Do you really hate him that much.”

“Yes. He is arrogant and makes you feel like shit for some reason I don’t quite understand.” Jace said. 

“I don’t feel like shit. I just want him to invite me to his bed.” Alec went to grab his arrows from the target he had been practising on, wanting to shoot a few more to get all his frustrations out. 

“You could invite yourself to his bed?” Jace suggested raising an eyebrow. Alec saw it from the corner of his eye as he positioned himself, sending an arrow through the air. 

“But where’s the fun in that?”

“Well, awesome sex and no strings attached-” Jace started but was interrupted. 

“How would you know?” Alec asked, not looking at his brother, concentrating on the target before releasing another arrow. 

“I don’t. I’ve just heard so,” Jace hurried to say, silence filling the air for a minute while Alec sent the last arrow swinging through the air, the sound of it piercing the emptiness seeming suddenly loud. Then Alec just stood there, looking into nothing, thinking.

“I’m gonna go to his place.” He then said. “I want to fuck him.”

The thing was that Alec had always been the kind of person to have one night stands. Usually, he didn’t think much of sex and it was rather unusual for him to seek the attention of someone he thought was hot. 

However, he was knocking on the big, black door within an hour, fresh out of the shower. He wasn’t exactly feeling nervous, more excited and a bit uncertain as to why he was even there. 

Magnus opened the door shortly after, revealing his tall figure wearing black from top to bottom. A smile found its way to his lips immediately, he leaned against the doorframe in a way that annoyed Alec for some reason.

“Oh, it’s you.” He said slowly looking into Alec’s eyes, his hand finding its way to his hip. There was this calmness all over him that Alec recognized right away. “The boy with the bright blue eyes. The good looking brother.”

“You know my name is Alec, right?” the shadowhunter asked.

“Of course, but you haven’t formally introduced yourself, Alexander.” Magnus spoke the name softly, a hint of affection in his tone as it escaped his lips.

“Nobody calls me that, you know.” Alec couldn’t figure out if he liked it or not. Just like he couldn’t quite figure out if he liked Magnus or not, part of him felt dragged towards him and part of him was already annoyed with the attitude of the warlock. 

“Not even during sex? I imagine it would have a sexy ring to it.” Magnus said, smirking and Alec felt the tension between them staring to built. 

“Of course not. I don’t date freaks, you know.” he teased, and then he decided he was tired of standing in the hallway, so he walked right past Magnus still leaning against the doorframe. Inside the living room a cat was on the couch, laying next to a blanket. It didn’t really come as a surprise that Magnus would be a cat person.

Magnus straightened up and closed the door, his tall figure moving gracefully towards Alec. “I thought you didn’t date at all.” he said and Alec frowned. 

“And why would you think that?”

“Well, it’s what I hear about you around town. You’re supposed to be this cold hearted heartbreaker, who never settles down with anyone” Magnus explained, suddenly standing very close to Alec, crossing his arms. He was a little bit taller than Alec, but his figure was slimmer and more fragile. His eyes, however, seemed to hold more strength than Alec could understand. He felt his breath catch as he looked into the darkness and warmth of Magnus’ golden gaze. “But it confuses me, because you seem so blushy and innocent to me.”

“You don’t really know me then, I guess.” Alec said, but something inside him didn’t really believe it as the words escaped his mouth. And at the same time, he felt his cheeks blushing. He swallowed.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. But then you surprised me.” Magnus was speaking slowly, every word rough and deep, something in his eyes. Maybe curiosity. 

“I surprised you?” Alec asked, frowning. “How did I manage to do that?”

“If all you want is sex, you would surely have found someone else by now. But now you are here. If you are all into the one time things, then why-”

“Maybe I’m here to claim my one time?” Alec suggested, interrupting the warlock, knowing where this was going. But it kind of got to him, Magnus’ words. Because why was Alec there in the first place? It was nothing like him to come begging for sex like this, but he hadn’t stopped to wonder why he was acting like this. Magnus interrupted his trail of thoughts by taking a step forward, reducing the space between them. 

“Is that really all you want?” he asked, his cat-eyes doubtful. 

“Yes.” Alec said, but even he himself didn’t really believe the word. He wasn’t sure, anyways. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I really don’t.” Magnus smirked. “I can’t seem to figure you out. Maybe you are more like your brother than i thought.”

Alec narrowed his eyes but didn’t respond. It wasn’t really true, Alec and Jace both had one night stands, sure, but Alec treated people nicely. Jace just broke girls for the fun of it. Right away, Alec regretted having even come in the first place, he knew he should have stayed away. 

“So you find me repelling as well?” Alec asked after a couple of moments, suddenly realizing what the warlock had said the first time they met. Something flickered behind the dark cat-like eyes. 

Alec rolled his eyes at the lack of response, sighing. He should have known that there was a reason why the warlock hadn’t come to Alec. He didn’t want Alec, maybe because Alec reminded him too much of Jace. 

Alec walked past the tall warlock, heading for the door. Their shoulders brushed as they passed and the next second, Alec didn’t really understand what was happening. He felt strong hands on his shoulders, turning him around and holding his body still with a forceful grip. And then Magnus’ lips were on his in a rough kiss. 

It took Alec by surprise at first, he wasn’t sure if it was maybe a mistake, but then the warlock softened the kiss, his lips moving gently against Alec’s. The tight grip on his shoulders loosened and suddenly, the strong hands had found their way around Alec’s waist, keeping him in place. 

So many thoughts went through Alec’s head, however, he was too caught up to think about them now. Before he knew it, his hands were in Magnus’ hair and he was swallowed into the warmth and comfort of the taller boy’s embrace. 

It wasn’t exactly a kiss of affection, but more one filled with lust and arousal, maybe a little bit annoyance from Alec’s side. Shortly after, the warlock was forcing Alec’s body backwards, pressing him against the wall leading to what Alec thought might be the bedroom. 

He felt the softness of a tongue licking at his lower lip and he allowed Magnus to deepen the kiss, waves of arousal shooting through his body and the well-known tension starting to built in his lower abdomen. The way Magnus was moving his tongue and lips felt so skillful, Alec almost couldn’t focus on anything but the sweet feeling of his mouth. 

As he pulled back on the other boys hair, a slight moan escaped Magnus’ mouth before Magnus was grabbing Alec’s hands and pinning them against the wall, regaining the control. And the shadowhunter wasn’t used to feeling dominated this way, but it turned him on in ways he hadn’t expected. He was already hard, needing some friction soon. 

Biting down softly on the lower lip, Magnus managed to draw a deep moan from Alec’s mouth, the body shaking slightly underneath the touch. He smirked in that certain way, and if Alec wasn’t hot and horny he would probably have found it annoying, but right now he hardly even noticed. 

Then the kisses were on Alec’s neck, sucking lightly. He felt the pleasure in his body as the lips caressed his skin, nibbling at the soft spot behind his ear. 

“Don’t leave a mark there,” Alec whispered, his voice hoarse and dry, the words almost lost between small sounds escaping his mouth. He was sure Magnus had heard, but the boy continued, pinning Alec harder against the wall, his teeth scraping the sensitive skin on the neck causing a slight sting. And Alec liked it, more than he’d want to admit. 

Then Magnus removed his hands from Alec’s, putting them on his hips to steady him. Alec hardly had time to think before he was pulling at the other boy’s black shirt, wanting him without clothes. Magnus didn’t protest, he let the shorter boy pull of his shirt, revealing his chest. The golden-brown skin had a glow to it, toned muscles showing as the warlock moved gracefully. Alec swallowed. 

His shirt was gone shortly after too, Magnus’ strong hands on his belt, unbuckling. Alec closed his eyes as their lips met in another kiss, this one soft and steady. Once the belt and the trousers were open, Magnus was pulling them off in one swift movement, leaving Alec in his boxers. 

Magnus’ hands had found their way to Alec’s hips once again, he was pushing the shorter boy towards the bedroom, forcing him down on top of the big bed. Alec could see how the warlock’s eyes were on his body, watching every inch of skin and taking in the sight of Alec, almost naked on his bed. The well-known pounding on the shadowhunter’s lips warned him that they were red and swollen from the biting and the forceful kisses. 

It was clear in the cat-like eyes that Magnus was just as turned on, they were glowing with something Alec hadn’t seen in them before. In no time, his own trousers and boxers were off and he was on top of Alec, his hard cock caught between their body’s. Alec felt the throb of it and the wet feeling against his stomach. 

“Stop looking innocent and cute like this,” Magnus said as his hand reached to cup Alec’s face, their eyes locked on each other. It made Alec’s stomach twitch with something, but he couldn’t tell what. Maybe just the arousal, the way their hot bodies were pressed against each other making Alec’s skin burn. 

As Magnus’ lips brushed Alec’s, softness and tenderness in the touch, Alec almost couldn’t wait much longer. He turned them both around in a swift movement, suddenly being the one on top and taking control. He saw the surprise in Magnus’ eyes, maybe the fear of giving up all of the control. But Alec liked it.

Just as their mouths joined again and Alec’s hand was trailing down Magnus’ body, caressing and grabbing, reassuring him that he would be gentle, he heard a buzz from somewhere in the house. It came as a deep sound, just loud enough for the boys to hear. 

“It’s your phone,” Magnus said between the kiss and Alec of course had figured that much out. It was in his pants, currently in the living room on the floor. 

“I know,” The shadowhunter said just as his big hand wrapped around Magnus’ cock, the warlock moaning and throwing his head backwards with pleasure. It made a shock of tension spread in Alec’s body as well, enjoying the sight before him, the High Warlock of Brooklyn getting lost in the feeling of Alec’s hand around his cock. 

Precum was already leaking from the tip, droplets making their way down the base. With the thumb gently smearing it around the tip, Alec started moving his hand, feeling the wetness and stiffness spread. He felt the tall boy tighten underneath the touch, but was in no doubt that he enjoyed it, the moans coming from his mouth almost begging for more. 

So Alec’s mouth found its way to the taller boy’s collar bone, knowing where to bite and suck to deepen the moans. He placed small kisses down Magnus’ chest, nibbling softly but not enough to leave marks. He felt the boy melt underneath his touch as he made his way downwards, suddenly letting his mouth enclose around Magnus’ throbbing cock. 

He looked so sexy, his golden-brown body tense and sweaty, his eyes closed with pleasure, hands digging into the duvet to keep himself together. Alec didn’t wait long before his head was bobbing up and down, drawing moans from Magnus’ mouth and leaving him panting, begging for more. 

Still moving his head, Alec wettened one finger with the saliva from the cock smeared around the base of it and dripping down on the sheets. He wasn’t sure whether he was overstepping any lines, but as he placed the wet finger on top of the small, pink hole, Magnus’ body twitched with pleasure, his legs spreading even further and allowing Alec to continue. 

He circled his finger, increasing the force, making sure that he wasn’t hurting the other boy. He began to push the first finger inside, moving it around slightly to open up the boy. It felt tight and warm around his finger and he felt his own dick throb in his pants, longing for the friction and tightness of Magnus. 

Pulling out the finger and wettening two fingers this time, he pushed them in a bit quicker, not giving the warlock as much time to adjust. He moved them in circles, scissoring them inside him and making sure to make room enough for Alec’s own cock. The saliva was dripping down on top of the hole, making it wet and loose, and soon enough Alec decided that he couldn’t wait anymore. 

Pulling down his boxers and spitting on his hand to coat up his own cock, he heard the buzzing once again coming from the living room. But he couldn’t focus on anything but the sexy boy infront of him right now. 

He reached out one hand to hold Magnus’ leg in place as he pushed in, the heat swallowing him and he wasn’t able to stop a deep sound from escaping his mouth. Magnus was looking at him through wet eyes, a couple of tears running down his face from the pleasure and sting he had felt when Alec had fingered him. His dark cat-eyes had turned more vulnerable, something about him looked so fragile. 

Alec almost seemed to forget that this was the High Warlock of Brooklyn as he bottomed up and saw the pain shoot through Magnus’ face for just a second, before it was replaced with something else. Something that made Alec’s stomach tighten. 

He didn’t give the boy much time to adjust before his hips were moving quickly in and out, the warm friction causing waves of arousal to go through Alec’s body. He couldn’t think straight, Magnus’ wet eyes and slightly open mouth making him go faster and faster for every second. 

He grabbed both of Magnus’ legs, lifting his body slightly off the sheets to have better access. Just as he did, Magnus’ eyes fell close and his body started to tremble as he tried to keep sounds from escaping his mouth. Alec loved the sight and reached for the wet, hard cock, stroking it slowly along with his hips’ hard thrusts. 

“Please,” Magnus managed to whisper, but he couldn’t form any words. He didn’t have to, anyway, because suddenly he was coming hard, semen shooting all over his stomach. His body started to shake underneath the soft and slow touch of Alec’s hand and the hard and forceful thrusts of Alec’s hips, his cock twitching as the last drops shot out of it. 

Alec felt like he was close now, too. His hands found their way to Magnus’ hips, holding him still while pounding violently into the slim, fragile boy in front of him. Magnus was panting, Alec’s vision turning blurry as he felt the tension in his stomach, knowing he was going to cum now. 

With a moan he released inside the tall boy in front of him, feeling as the tight sensation became even tighter until it was too much for him and he had to pull out of Magnus, collapsing beside him on the bed. He closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath, the dizziness spreading in his body. He felt almost high, not able to hold himself together. 

They lied like that for a moment, both of them panting and breathing harshly, semen dripping from Magnus’ body and making its way to the sheets. Alec didn’t care, he just stayed there, needing some time to regain control. 

Then his phone started ringing once again, the buzzing seemed suddenly louder, resounding in Alec’s ears. He groaned, opening his eyes.

“Someone really wants to talk to you,” Magnus said with a hoarse voice, turning to his side to look at Alec. Their eyes were on each other and Magnus reached out a hand to pull a sweaty lock of hair out of Alec’s face. Something in the look at his face seemed so soft, Alec couldn’t quite tell what it was. 

The noise stopped. Then it started again and Alec mumbled something underneath his breath about hating everyone as he got up, naked, to go and grab his phone. 

“Hello?” he asked, annoyance in his tone. 

“Alec? Why haven’t you picked up your phone, god dammit. Come back to the institute now.” It was Jace, he seemed angry and worried. Alec was still feeling a bit high and dizzy, but he could tell that Jace was being serious.

“What the hell happened?” He asked, panic spreading in his voice as he spoke. He bent down to pick up the rest of his clothes, walking back into the bedroom to find his boxers.

“I’ll explain later, just come back.” Jace said. “And for the love of god, don’t tell anyone where you have been!”

“Alright I’ll be right there.” Alec said hanging up and throwing the phone on the bed while picking up his boxers. He tried to put them on standing, jumping on one leg to stay balanced. 

“Who was it?” Magnus asked from the bed, still naked. His hair was sweaty and sticking to his forehead. 

“Just Jace. I gotta go now.”

It was clear that a wave of disappointment went through Magnus’ cat-like eyes, his gaze flickering. “Oh.” he said, a hint of pain in his voice. “But I’ll see you again, right?”

“No, I told you already.” Alec was putting on his trousers, trying to buckle the belt. “I’m only here for the one time thing. That’s all this is.”

Even though he didn’t look at the warlock and didn’t have the time to hear his response, he was sure that he had said something hurtful. He could imagine exactly how Magnus must have looked as he said it, how his eyes must have dropped. He couldn’t help but think about it as he ran towards the institute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I will post more often from now on. Well, sweet Magnus acts so tough but is just so soft. I hope Alec treats him nicely


	3. When things change

Jace was waiting at the door, a worried look on his face. As soon as he saw Alec, he grabbed his wrist and dragged him along with him, his steps quick. 

“Imogen is on videocall in the emergency room. She wants to speak with you.” 

“Why me?” Alec asked, not understanding anything. It was rare for Imogen to ask or Alec. 

“I don’t know, but she has been waiting for long now. She is not a patient woman.” Alec tried to follow Jace’s pace, but his brother always moved swiftly and gracefully in a way Alec couldn’t mimic. He pulled his hand out of the tight grip. 

Jace just shot him a serious look, then his eyes wandered off to Alec’s neck and narrowed, watching closely. “Seriously Alec, you let him put a mark there? Are you stupid or what?”

Alec tried to cover it up with his hand, being reminded of what had just happened at the apartment. The heart found its way to his cheek and he felt a bit guilty for having left like that, but it was overshadowed by the annoyance of the love bite. “I told him not to, he did it anyways.”

Jace pulled out his stele, reaching for Alec’s hand. “Luckily, I’m used to hiding hickeys,” he said, then activated the iratze-rune on Alec’s arm. It stung for a short moment, healing every inch of Alec’s body. Jace checked and nodded, confirming that the mark had disappeared. 

Then they reached the emergency call and Alec walked inside, Jace closing the door behind him. 

“Alexander Lightwood,” Imogen spoke, her voice sounding impatient and annoyed, Alec walked up to the screen to get a better look of her. Her face seemed stiff and serious, Alec hated the woman. 

“Inquisitor,” he said slowly. “I was not expecting a call from you. I apologize for not being here.”

“I expect every shadowhunter to be alert every hour of the day, unless they are needed on a mission approved by the clave,” she said, making it even clearer how annoyed she was with Alec. Alec felt like a child being yelled at for doing something stupid and he didn’t like the feeling.

There was no point in arguing with the inquisitor, Alec knew that much. She was a stubborn and strict woman. “I will learn from my mistakes and improve.” he just said, hiding his annoyance.

“However, you must know that I have not called you here because of that,” she said. “The clave has a reason to believe that Magnus Bane might have stolen some of the memories he pulled out of Jacob Newland. Some information seem to be missing, and we know Magnus wants to keep the memories to himself-”

“Do you think I know anything about this. I have only just met Magnus Bane about two weeks ago.” Alec asked before the inquisitor got to finish her sentence, feeling even more confused now. 

“We do know that you have not known him for long, but Magnus asked specifically for your presence at the ceremony. We believe that you would be able to find out whether this suspicion is true.” Alec already felt the panic start in his body, he could not go back to Magnus now, not after what had happened. 

“He asked for Jace’s presence as well, and Jace has known Magnus for years,” Alec tried to argue but he already knew it was a lost case. 

“He wanted you there, he searched the crowd for you. All we ask is for you to keep an eye on him, gain his trust and find out what he knows.” the inquisitor said, hinting that the conversation was over. It sounded a lot easier than it probably was.

“He will not trust me. I am not the right person for this,” Alec tried again, but Imogen’s eyes narrowed and she spoke with harsh, piercing words. 

“Alexander Lightwood, you will follow the orders of the clave.” Then the screen went black and Alec, without even thinking about it, reached up a hand to touch his neck where the mark had been. It felt like his skin was still burning there. 

“Seriously, I won’t do it,” Alec said for det third time. He was sitting on a chair next to his desk, turning a pencil in his hand uncontrollably. His mind wasn’t quite clear yet, he couldn’t seem to understand the situation completely. “I just won’t”

“You know, you don’t have to sleep with him again if you don’t want to,” Jace said, not really paying much attention to Alec anyway. He was probably tired of listening to Alec’s whining. He took a bite of the apple he was holding. 

“I know, but it just feels weird to go back, you know. Once you leave, that’s it.” It was more to himself than to Jace, as if reminding himself that this was stupid. 

Jace snorted, chewing loudly on the apple. “I know exactly what you mean. But you said it was pretty good sex, right?”

“Yeah I know, but-”

“Look,” Jace interrupted, taking a second to swallow his apple. “You could just enjoy this, have sex with him and nothing more. And after this is done, you don’t have to explain yourself, you know? Just leave.”

“That’s so mean, Jace,” Alec threw the pencil back on the desk, having had enough of it now. He groaned, feeling annoyed. “And what if I don’t want to leave, then?”

This made Jace’s eyes narrow, his head tilting slightly so the golden curls fell into his face. “What, are you afraid of liking him? You’re kidding right?”

Alec wasn’t really sure if he was kidding or not, he wasn’t really sure of anything, really. “It’s just, he gives me this weird feeling.”

“I know Magnus Bane, he is an arrogant and manipulative warlock, alright? Trust me. Once this is over you’ll be fine.” Jace reassured, sending Alec a convincing look, his golden eyes soft. Then he turned the apple around in his hand, searching for a blank spot to bite. “Maybe it just turns you on that he’s a high warlock.”

“I don’t know, Jace.” Alec picked up the pencil again, already feeling restless from not having anything in his hands. He started playing with it again. “I could just tell the clave that I have been watching him and he didn’t do it.”

“Well, you don’t know that, though. And you were never one to disobey orders.” Jace found a spot and took a bite, chewing loudly. 

The dark-haired brother sighed. “I need time to think this through”

“Don’t take too long, though.” And Alec knew that Jace was right. 

It took him about a week to figure out, which was a lot longer than it should have taken him. Jace was a pain in the ass, constantly telling Alec to just suck it up and do as ordered. 

And in the end, Alec had to do as told. But that didn’t mean that this was easy. 

He wandered back and forth in the hallway outside Magnus’ apartment just as he had done in the hallway at the institute about an hour earlier. But there was no point, this wasn’t going to help him in any way. 

Finally, he knocked on the black door, holding his breath as he stood there. And it felt like forever before the door opened, slowly. 

Alec saw the distant look at first, Magnus’ tired eyes only focussing after a moment. Then, it hit him, the confusion showing on his face from one second to another. 

His hair looked messy and soft, caressing his face carefully. It was different from the usual stiff quiff he had worn, it made him look so innocent and young, nothing like Alec had thought of him earlier. 

“Alexander?” Magnus asked, his eyes widening a bit. Alec already felt bad for being there, scratching his neck, thinking about what to say. “I was not expecting to see you again.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry to just show up like this,” Alec apologized, his voice uncertain as he spoke. 

“Why are you here?” Magnus tilted his head, soft hair brushing against his forehead. It was clear in his voice and in his dark cat-like eyes that he wasn’t in the mood for this. Alec had probably interrupted his quiet evening. “Are you here on behalf of the clave again?”

“No no,” Alec hurried to say, knowing it wasn’t completely true, but believing the lie as he said it. Maybe he wished he wasn’t here because of the clave. Then he cleared his throat, forcing himself to not mess this up. “It has nothing to do with that.”

“Did you forget something?” Now Magnus looked even more confused, Alec understood why. Their eyes locked and the shadowhunter felt his heartbeat increase as the tall boy’s eyes pierced him. It was as if he was looking right through Alec, it made him feel suddenly bare. 

“I just changed my mind. Isn’t that allowed?” he asked, rewarded with a snort and a doubtful gaze

“I know shadowhunters like you. You never change your minds.” Magnus said accousingly. It was not what Alec was expecting him to say. 

“Well, you might know Jace and maybe others too, but you don’t really know me.”

“I think you made it pretty clear what you want last time we saw each other,” Something in Magnus’ voice had turned a bit harsher, his soft face looking a bit more tense now. But Alec didn’t really blame Magnus. 

“Look, you might not believe me, but-”

“I told you already, Alexander, I don’t trust you,” Magnus interrupted. He crossed his arms. He looked so tired in a way that Alec couldn’t quite figure out, almost drained. And for some reason it made Alec feel weird to hear those words. 

To be completely honest, this was why Alec hadn’t wanted to come. Because he had been afraid of the stinging, burning feeling of rejection, standing before the tall, beautiful boy. He shouldn’t even care, but he did. He told himself that this was how rejection felt, regardless of who the other person was. 

“I don’t expect you to trust me,” Alec said, explaining himself. “But I wanted to see you again. Get to know you. But I understand if that isn’t what you want.”

“Is it because of sex?” Magnus asked doubtfully, but as their eyes met, Alec realized that Magnus looked more gentle now, the vulnerable and innocent expression back on his face. 

“It really isn’t.” Alec said, knowing it was true, but not knowing why. As they stood there, eyes locked, a small sound from between Magnus’ feet interrupted the moment. They both turned to look at the small, black cat meowing, wanting attention. Magnus smiled, reaching for the cat to hold it in his arms, stroking it. 

“She’s kinda cute,” Alec said. 

“It’s a he. But yes, he’s adorable,” Magnus corrected, his face turning serious again. “And I feel like there is something you are not telling me.”

“There is,” Alec saw as Magnus stiffened, listening closely. “I’m really not a cat person.” He hoped it wasn’t too soon to make a stupid joke like that, he just wanted to get out of all this seriousness and start over with the warlock. 

Magnus just rolled his eyes, patting the cat once more before putting it on the floor again. It started meowing instantly, craving more attention. “Again, I don’t trust you.”

Alec decided not to comment on that, having said too much about it already. “Look,” he started off instead. “What about we just kind of start over. I’m sorry about, like, being an asshat and everything.   
I feel really bad about it and just want to make things right between us. Let me just come in.”

Magnus seemed to think about it, turning to look into the air. And Alec held his breath as he stood there, looking at him, waiting for a response. Everything about the situation was unexpected, but especially Magnus’ response. 

“I really don’t think it would be a good idea.” And of course it wasn’t, Alec knew that much, but it still hurt a bit because why was Magnus so persistent. Why couldn’t he just surrender, fall into Alec’s arms and allow him to stay by his side for a couple of weeks. 

Alec stood outside the big black door for a couple moments after it had been closed, wishing he hadn’t been such a douche. Maybe things would have been different then.

So Alec had to take other methods into use. Jace hadn’t believed what had happened at first, claiming that Magnus would never turn down good sex. But after bitching about it long enough, he had suggested going to pandemonium, the biggest night club for downworlders. Apparently, Magnus came there a lot.

At first, Alec was sceptic, because he hated partying. But he figured it was worth a shot and agreed to go if Jace came along. 

Something seemed to have changed. Because at first, Alec wanted to get to know Magnus and spend time with him because of the orders. But there was more to it now. 

Maybe it was just his pride being compromised of the rejection, or maybe it was the classic feeling of wanting what you can’t have. But Alec kept thinking about Magnus, trying to figure him out, understanding why he was acting like this. He kept on thinking about going to his apartment, pretending things were fine, but he knew he couldn’t and it got to him.

It was two days later that they decided to go, Jace already half drunk before they even made it out of the institute. And Alec was already annoyed with him beforehand, because he knew Jace was probably going to invite himself to some girl’s bed and leave Alec in all this mess. 

The music was too loud, the place too crowded and the air felt thick and disgusting, the smell of sweat and alcohol getting to his head and blurring everything. “I’m gonna go get some drinks,” Jace announced and left Alec in the middle of the crowd. 

People kept bumping into the shadowhunter and he wanted to yell at them. He made his way further into the club, looking around as he walked, searching for the tall, gorgeous warlock.

He found him at a table, dressed in glitter, talking to a blonde seelie with pointy ears. His flirty personality was clear, reaching out a hand to touch the other as he spoke, sending that certain look. Alec had no reason to be jealous so he told himself to knock it off. Exhaling, he walked towards them. 

Maybe Magnus was the kind of person to flirt a lot, but always leave it at that. It had been Alec seeking the contact every single time the two of them had been together, it for some reason reassured him as he looked at the two, smiling and talking. 

Before Alec reached them, he saw Magnus’ gaze flicker, landing on Alec. It made Alec stop dead in his tracks a couple meters from the table, their eyes on each other only thick air between them. Magnus said something to the other person, the smile gone from his face and his dark eyes filling with something, maybe determination. 

“You don’t take no for an answer, i presume,” Magnus said as he was standing before Alec, talking loudly to be heard over the music. 

Alec swallowed, feeling a bit overwhelmed because he looked more powerful now, the vulnerability and softness gone, hidden behind a thick facade of makeup. He looked more like he had done the first time they met, Alec could almost hear the words “you are my type,” escaping his mouth as he looked at him. It was sexy in a way.

“Not really,” Alec replied, smiling at the tall warlock. Magnus tried to hide it, but a hint of a smile was on his face for a short second as well, his eyes loosening. He sighed, shaking his head. 

“Come with me,” he then said and grabbed Alec’s hand to drag him along. They pierced through the crowd, heading for something that looked like a back door hidden deep into the night club. Alec had never been to this place before and had no idea where they were going, but he hardly cared. He couldn’t focus on anything besides the feeling of Magnus’ strong hand in his.

He wondered if Magnus was drunk. He smelled a bit like alcohol, but his movements were certain and clear, hinting that he couldn’t have been drinking much. 

The door led out to a backyard, there was puke all over the ground and Alec reminded himself that he hated partying. As the door closed and silence fell on the two, Magnus finally let go of Alec’s hand. Then he crossed his arms. 

“You keep on surprising me, Alexander Lightwood,” he said, Alec couldn’t figure out his expression even though he tried. “I must say, I’m starting to doubt if I was wrong about you.”

“So you’re starting to trust me?” Alec asked, hope in his voice for some reason. 

“No, not quite.” Magnus turned around to face the streets and started walking. “But we could go for a night walk if you want to.”

“You don’t want to go back to the party?” Alec asked as he hurried up beside Magnus, trying to fall into steps with the tall, slim boy. It was hard. 

“Not really. It was beginning to get boring, anyways.” Alec didn’t know what to answer to that, so he just walked alongside. It was a warm summer night, neither of them were wearing a coat. The fresh air felt good, it made Alec relax a bit. 

“You look good in glitter, you know,” Alec said after a couple of moments and he saw Magnus smirk. Alec remembered how Magnus had worn glitter at the memory-ceremony as well, how the many lights in the glass hall had been reflected. Maybe glitter was just a statement of power, Alec wondered. 

“Don’t flirt,” Magnus said, but Alec got the feeling that he didn’t really mean it. The look in his eyes revealed that he liked it. 

“It makes you look powerful in a way.”

“You shadowhunters don’t see power the same way as us, i know that much,” Magnus stated without looking at Alec. It was the kind of night without any clouds on the sky, allowing all the stars to shine brightly. Alec usually wasn’t out at this hour, he never really looked at the night sky or went for a night walk. It felt pleasant. 

“To a shadowhunter, a powerful person is one with many runes.”

“But the runes make you vulnerable as well.” Magnus explained as if he knew more about shadowhunters than Alec. 

“It makes us strong, not vulnerable,” the shadowhunter argued, looking down at his own arms to see the black color caressing his skin. It felt so familiar to look at his body covered in runes, he thought for a second that maybe he wouldn’t even recognize himself without them. They were a part of him.

“But they can be taken from you. Warlocks hold their powers within, but shadowhunters keep their powers in concrete things. The runes, the stele, the holy book. It makes you vulnerable.” Alec had never thought of it that way, he had always thought of the runes as something that made him strong. Not as something that weakened him. 

It was a quiet night and silence was all over them once none of them spoke. Only the soft tapping of their shoes on the street could be heard. “But they are kept safe by the clave, you know.”

“The clave did a really good job on that” Magnus said ironically sounding almost annoyed. “You know, warlocks all over the world is looking for the book.”

“And what about you? Are you looking?” Alec grabbed the opportunity to both get to know Magnus and do as ordered from the clave. But he would have to admit, he wanted to know for personal reasons as well. He was interested. 

“No, I’m not stupid.” was all that the tall warlock said.

“Because it is hard to find or what?” Alec asked, not really following. He wanted to slow down the pace a bit, but Magnus kept walking with firm steps. 

“I don’t think it is really gone.” Magnus explained. “I think the clave faked its disappearance and hid it somewhere where only they know. They were afraid of someone breaking in and stealing it, so they pretended like it was stolen.”

“What!” Alec didn’t think before it escaped his mouth. Then he stopped walking, needing to think about it. Magnus realized and stopped as well, turning around to face the shadowhunter. “But you saw the guy, Jacob Newland. You think they faked him too?” 

“Yes, very much. And they asked me to transfer his memories so the word would spread about the disappearance of the book.”

“You can’t be serious. Why would they do that?” Alec asked, confused

“Because they were afraid. And if they told shadowhunters around the world that they were going to hide the book, it would start an uprising. Am i right?” Magnus said, looking questioningly at Alec. Alec hesitated, shrugging, not really able to comprehend the scenario. “Shadowhunters don’t really trust the clave, either. You would want to know where it was hidden.”

Alec couldn’t believe what Magnus was saying, he didn’t want to. And why would Imogen have asked Alec to keep an eye on Magnus if this was all just a set up. He wanted to ask the question out loud but knew he couldn’t because Magnus could never know. And it was burning on his tongue, needing to be said. 

“But why…” Alec started, however trailed off. He couldn’t say it, he knew it would just mess up everything and he had just been forgiven. Magnus frowned. 

Shaking his head, Alec spoke again. “I just don’t get it, okay? It doesn’t make sense.”

A soft look found its way to Magnus’ face then, he sighed, taking a step forwards. Then his hand was on Alec’s arm, brushing his rune-covered skin. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought this up,” Magnus said then, sending an apologetic smile. And Alec felt himself relax underneath the touch, something in the warlocks presence making him feel safe in a way. 

They stood there for a second, looking at each other, enjoying the silence and the fresh air brushing against their skin. Alec was about to say something, opening his mouth, but Magnus cut him short. 

“If you want to, we can go to my place for a cup of tea or something. Besides, my cat is probably alone right now and he hates that. He can be quite attention-seeking.”

Honestly, that was all Alec really wanted. But it burned inside him, Magnus’ words, as they walked towards the apartment together.


	4. When they learn about a mutual friend

Alec woke up to the smell of clean sheets and morning light spreading behind his eyelids, the songs of birds sounding somewhere in the distance. He had the feeling right away that it was a bit late, but he reminded himself that he had no deadline. 

Slowly, he opened his eyes, already knowing beforehand that he would be in Magnus’ big bed. He recognized the feeling and the smell of it right away. 

Magnus lay beside him, mouth slightly open and hair falling into his eyes. It was soft and all the makeup had been removed. He was shirtless from what Alec could see, the duvet covering the rest of his golden-brown body.

The cat was there, too, beneath Magnus’ strong arm, purring happily. Alec smiled to himself, finding the sight before him incredibly cute. He reached out a hand to pet the cat in Magnus’ embrace. It closed its eyes and seemed to enjoy the attention, Alec remembered that Magnus had called it Chairman Meow the night before. He thought it was a rather weird name for a cat.

Remembering the night before, Alec felt his cheeks start to burn and something in his chest turning. Nothing had happened specifically, but being around the warlock had been so… relaxing and easy, for some reason. 

Without even thinking about it, Alec stopped petting the cat and caressed Magnus’ cheek slightly, feeling the heat from his skin as he slept peacefully. He looked so carefree and Alec felt happy in a way to see him that way, his soft face making him seem so young. 

“g’dmorning,” Magnus whispered after a couple of seconds, only half awake, his eyes still closed but he was smiling a bit. Alec pulled his hand back slowly as he realized the boy was waking up, cheeks burning once again. 

“Are you awake?” Alec asked, and he knew it was a stupid question. 

“No,” Magnus answered in a whisper and his smile widened slightly. Then he took in a deep breath, squeezing his face shut and stretching his body, regaining consciousness. Alec laughed, wondering if he was hungover. He didn’t look that way though. 

“How are you feeling?” Alec began petting the cat again and it purred underneath his touch, moving in Magnus’ arms to lie on the back, allowing Alec access to the belly. 

“I feel really good, actually,” Magnus said, his voice still soft and hoarse as voices sometimes are in the morning. “You know, he never lets anyone sleep in my bed, he wants me all to himself.”

“It’s because he likes me.” Alec said it in a teasing tone, but Magnus just nodded, his cat-like eyes looking warm and safe. Alec felt kind of high looking into those eyes, they got to him in a weird way. “How did I even end up here?” he then asked. 

“You fell asleep on the couch when i went to get more tea,” Magnus explained. “I had to carry you here.”

Alec felt almost embarrassed, but something inside him found it really sweet, unexpected in a way. He let out a snort. “You should just have let me sleep on the couch, I wouldn’t mind,” he said. 

“You’re almost as tall as me, though, and I know how much it sucks to sleep on the couch,” the warlock said, but Alec felt like there was more to it. However, he just nodded, accepting the explanation, not wanting anything to ruin the moment. It was actually kind of perfect, he thought. 

And it was weird, because Alec had been with many men, but he had always seemed to avoid this part. The waking up without any guilt or the urge to disappear, just enjoying the moment. He didn’t even sleep with Magnus last night, but it felt so intimate, still. 

Alec wasn’t sure why, but he got himself up on his elbow the next second, reaching out the free hand to cup Magnus’ face. There was this certain look on the warlock’s face, awaitingly. As if he had to be careful of what was coming next, the warmth in the eyes burning. 

Then Alec leaned in and brushed his lips softly over Magnus’, just enough for his heart to start racing and the blood in his body to start pumping. He could feel Magnus lean into the touch, craving more, but just as quickly as it happened, it was over again and Alec pulled back. 

He looked down at the boy, lips parted slightly and eyes filled with something. Then Alec turned in the bed to get up, he was still wearing his pants, but his shirt had been removed. He found it on the floor and put it back on. 

“Are you leaving now?” Magnus asked, Alec recognized the tone, it was vulnerable and scared in a way. 

“I just have to pee,” he said, looking over his shoulder at the tall, beautiful boy. Alec smiled at him, reassuring him, before getting up, but couldn’t figure out exactly how he felt about everything and how he wanted to feel about everything. It was like they were two different things. 

In the bathroom, he took a close look at himself. It wasn’t anything specifically that made him look different, but he just felt like something had changed. There was this feeling spreading in his body and it was impossible to tell if it was happiness or sadness. Maybe something in between, something he felt all the way to the tip of his fingers. 

Alec sighed, shaking off the thoughts. He peed and washed his hands, avoiding his eyes in the mirror as he stood there again. 

Chairman Meow waited outside the door, the cat must have followed him as he had left the bed. It pressed its small body against Alec’s leg, seeking the attention. And Alec was about to reach down a hand to touch the cat, but was interrupted. 

“You’re kidding right?” A familiar voice asked standing behind Alec. He turned around and looked directly into the eyes of a well-known face with dark curls and pale skin. “The cat likes you? Of all people.”

The cat responded by hissing at the pale boy, showing its sharp teeth.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Alec asked, mood suddenly changing. He wasn’t exactly angry or annoyed, more just surprised and very confused. 

“I live here. And what about you? Are you here to fuck things up?”

“Magnus lives here.” Alec stated, avoiding to answer the other questions. Magnus hadn’t said anything about having a roommate, Alec almost couldn’t believe that the high warlock of brooklyn would share his apartment with anyone. 

“Well, he lets me stay here.” The pale boy said, crossing his arms and looking rather unsatisfied. The cat started hissing again, but none of them paid any attention to it. 

“Don’t you have anywhere else to stay?” Alec’s tone was piercing, hurtful, hardly even meant as a question but more as a statement. The boy hesitated, searching for his words. 

“Seriously, what is going on here, why are you two being so noisy?,” Magnus’ soft voice asked coming out of the bedroom. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of training shorts, most of his golden-brown skin showing and glinsing in the light. His hair fell into his face, his eyes looking tired. 

“You are not seriously doing anything with this guy, are you?” The boy asked taking a step towards Magnus, pointing threateningly at Alec. Alec wanted to hit him in the face, this fucking vampire, he hated him. “He is not worth it, I promise you.”

Confusion just flashed through Magnus’ eyes, he frowned. “You know each other?”

“Unfortunately,” Alec said coldly. He felt a bit disgusted, looking at the vampire through narrow eyes. He could hear Magnus searching for words. 

“And you know each other because..?” he asked, leaving the question open for one of them to answer. 

The boy smirked. “Well, I was stupid enough to fall for the Lightwood charm.” he said ironically.

“What? You two… did you?” Magnus tried to ask, but didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence.

“Well, my sister was stupid enough to trust you. You cheated on her, Raphael,” Alec stated with a harsh tone, feeling his body filling with anger. Alec had always had a soft spot for his sister, he wanted to protect her from whatever could hurt her. And it got to him that he couldn’t protect her from this, she was just seventeen and had to go through the heartbreaks on her own. 

He could, however, make this boy understand how angry he was at him for doing what he did. Even if it was one of Magnus’ close friends. 

“Your sister never liked me, she just played me. I only did it because I wanted to piss her off, and guess what? It didn’t. She didn’t even care,” Raphael said in a steady voice, but something behind it seemed hurt. 

“Oh it sounds to me like you were the one playing her,” Alec couldn’t even believe what the boy was saying, because he had seen his sister, heartbroken, crying over this guy he only himself had met a couple of times. And Alec had told her to stop trusting boys back then, to stop making herself vulnerable. Because he had been scared of it happening to her again. 

“She didn’t care, okay? She didn’t even want me,” Raphael said and Alec was about to object. 

“Wait, who is this girl again? Have I met her?” Magnus asked, mainly directed to Raphael. He looked too tired to follow what was happening. Something in his eyes seemed to not have the energy for Raphael and Alec to fight, and Alec figured that maybe it was because that things were just starting to be right between him and Magnus. 

“It’s Izzy,” Raphael said, but it sounded wrong, the way her name fell from his lips. He didn’t have the permission to call her that, Alec thought. 

“Oh.” Magnus tilted his head, looking at Alec. “I should have known. You look just like her.”

“Well, I’m not like her,” Alec said, because god forbid that Magnus was going to stop this now because of something his sister made Raphael feel at some point. They had just had this perfect morning, something Alec hadn’t really tried before with someone who seemed to make him feel something he couldn’t quite make out. 

And if just Raphael hadn’t been there to ruin it. But he was, and he sent Magnus a serious look, his black eyes wide. “Don’t trust him.” he said.

“I never said I did,” Magnus hurried to say, his voice still tired. He wanted this to be over, Alec could tell that much. He probably just wanted to go back to sleep without anyone interrupting. 

“But you let him sleep in your bed! You never let anyone sleep there,” Raphael argued, raising his voice. 

Magnus’ eyes flickered, he searched for his words. “Chairman didn’t mind for some reason. He seems to really like him, and he never likes anyone. It’s not like-”

“Stop, Magnus,” Raphael said. Then he groaned, rubbing his face. “Stop using the cat as an excuse every damn time you do something stupid.” 

It made something drop in Magnus’ eyes, his gaze turning to look at the floor. He seemed suddenly hurt, the tiredness and his soft hair making him appear small in a way. Alec felt it in his chest, the way it burned, the longing to take the warlock into his arms and fill him with warmth and safety. And maybe he would have if it hadn’t been for Raphael. 

Instead, he just cleared his throat, saying, “I think I should go now.”

He heard Raphael say “yes” at the same time as the warlock looked up with wide, hurt eyes saying “no”. But Alec thought it was better to leave the two of them to talk about things, it was to no use just staying there, arguing. 

He took a couple of steps forwards, walking up to Magnus and looking into his tired cat-eyes. Smiling reassuring, he lowered his voice, attempting to hide his words from Raphael, “We’ll see each other soon. Sorry for making all this mess,” Alec said, watching as the tired look softened, face relaxing falling into a small smile. 

He felt himself dragged forwards, something almost giving in to the urge to kiss the boy. To caress his face and grab his hand. But he didn’t, he was too afraid to. So Alec just blinked quickly, turning around to walk towards the door. 

He stopped just as he had passed Raphael, watching the pale boy turn around as Alec said, “And you know, my sister didn’t play you. I saw how much you broke her because of what you did. Don’t think you are all innocent in this.”

Then he left. And on the walk to the institute, he tried to keep the strange feeling in his body under control. It felt like he was afraid of losing something he hardly even had.

Alec had gotten Magnus’ phone number about two days ago from someone Jace knew. He had been trying to type out a message ever since to sent, but every time he seemed to end up erasing everything. It was just hard to know where exactly the line was. What had Raphael even told Magnus after Alec had left? 

Something inside him felt like he should just leave the guy alone. He had a good idea that Magnus didn’t have anything to do with the missing memories, he could just tell Imogen what he knew and cut the contact. No harm would be done, really. 

But he couldn’t, for some reason. Partly because he had to finish this mission now, he had already gone so far for it. But also because he wanted to see him again. And he had promised that much.

It was late evening when he sent the message. It had been one of those days where things just doesn’t go the right way. It had just drained Alec completely, leaving him numb with this weird, empty hole aching somewhere in his chest. It felt like loneliness, but it was more than that. 

It probably would have sounded a lot different if he had taken the time to think before sending it. But sometimes you just reach a point where you hardly even care and things get too much for some reason. 

The message read, ‘I think I miss you and I really want to come and see you, if I’m allowed?’

And of course he regretted sending it the minute he hit the send-button, because he knew he shouldn’t get his feelings too much mixed into this. It wasn’t fair, because then it would start to burn within him, this big secret he kept away from the warlock. 

If he started doing this, feeling something and wanting to be around the warlock because of something else than this mission, it would have its price. Magnus could never know. Maybe that was too much. 

A couple of minutes after he had sent it, he heard the familiar buzzing of someone texting him. ‘Alec?’ the message said, and in all his hurry, he had of course forgotten to say who it was texting. But it made his heart skip a beat that he would be the first person to come to Magnus’ mind, it made him feel special. 

He was about to type in a second message, confirming that this was him, when his phone started ringing. He picked up.

“Hello” he said. 

“I figured it was you,” Magnus spoke from the other end, his voice sounding small and uncertain. 

Alec felt a slight wave of joy go through his body at just the sound of Magnus’ voice, it sounded so familiar. “Yeah, I should have probably written that. I didn’t really think before I sent it,” he said. 

“At least it’s more honest that way,” Magnus spoke, but then hesitated. “You can just come by if you want to.”

Alec dared to ask, “Is Raphael cool with that?” 

“Maybe, I don’t really know. He’s not here right now, though,” Magnus said. Alec had the feeling that Magnus knew more than what he was saying. But he didn’t want to bring it up, it felt like things were already shaky and he had to step carefully not to mess it up. 

However, he found himself standing outside the apartment door shortly after, knocking. Magnus opened it right away, he was wearing a golden silk shirt tucked into a pair of tight black leather pants. His makeup was made neatly and he looked gorgeous, Alec had to admit it. 

“Do you want a drink?” Magnus asked, making a gesture that allowed Alec inside. The shadowhunter didn’t even know what he had been expecting, but he wasn’t prepared to drink. His day had been awful and he wasn’t really in the mood. 

“Sure,” he said anyways, walking inside. The cat was on the couch and as Alec sat down next to it, the cat rolled over to its back, wanting Alec to rub its belly. He snorted, but obeyed, hearing the soft purring of happiness. 

Magnus had gone to the kitchen and came back a minute later with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He smiled at the sight of the two on the couch and sat down next to Alec. 

“Were you going somewhere?” Alec asked, wondering why Magnus was dressed up. Maybe high warlocks were dressed up all the time, just to be sure. 

Magnus was pouring wine into the glasses, then leaned back on the couch with one glass in his hand. “Just to pandemonium with Raphael, but not something i mind missing out on.” he said, taking a sip. 

Alec thought about Magnus flirting with the seelie that one night and wondered if that was the reason he had wanted to go there tonight as well. He had to admit, he didn’t like the thought of it, but he just nodded. 

“So you told Raphael that I was coming over?” Alec asked, not knowing why he was so focussed on finding out what Raphael had said to the warlock. He just couldn’t help thinking about it. 

“No,” Magnus stated. He crossed his legs. “He doesn’t have to know everything.”

“Did he say something about me?” Alec finally asked directly, leaning back in the couch as well to catch Magnus’ eyes. They seemed uneasy, as if Magnus wasn’t saying something important. 

“Of course, I think you piss him off,” was all that the warlock said, a teasing tone in his voice, but Alec couldn’t figure out if he had put it there purposely. 

Even though he tried to send Alec this soft smile, Alec felt like Magnus was tense in a way. Careful, even, the way he sat a bit further away from Alec than Alec would have liked, the way he crossed his legs, closing his body. It felt so tense.

“You know what I mean.” Alec said softly, reminding himself not to demand too much. “Did he say something that, like…. changed this?” he clarified, gesturing between the two of them. Magnus surely understood what he meant, it was clear in his eyes. The boy turned away his gaze, sighing. 

“Maybe,” he then said. He looked thoughtful, something on his mind that was destroying him. “Usually, his opinion just means a lot to me but….” he trailed off. 

“But what?” Alec wanted to know, voice soft. He reached out a hand, placing it on Magnus’ shoulder. The gentle touch was barely enough to even be felt, but he noticed how the warlock had to catch his breath underneath it. 

“I just don’t want him to be right about you.”

Alec couldn’t help but feel something in his chest, he couldn’t help but smile a bit as he realized what Magnus actually meant. 

“Sometimes those you care about are wrong about that one person, you know,” Alec stated, caressing the warlock’s shoulder lightly, the silk feeling soft and thin. Magnus seemed to relax as they sat there. 

“I guess you are right,” he said, turning to look at the shadowhunter beside him. 

“Jace hates you too. And I don’t care about that.”

“Yeah, but Jace have an actual reason to hate me. We’ve had our clashes,” Magnus explained, snorting at the thought. Alec wanted to ask why, but Magnus’ reached up his hand to put on top of Alec’s, giving it a small squeeze. And then the shadowhunter couldn’t ask anything, because he felt the heat in his cheeks, a smile forming on his mouth. 

“But now is probably not the time to think about this anyways.” The warlock seemed to want to change the topic. He sat up a bit to put his glass of wine back on the table, their hands separating and Alec’s dropping from the strong shoulder. “I mean, you are already here.”

Then the warlock moved his body closer to Alec’s, turning on the couch so they were facing each other completely. Shortly after, one hand was cupping Alec’s face, the other one resting lightly on his thigh. 

Alec had known that it was coming, just waiting for it to happen, but the feeling of the warm, soft lips still took him by surprise, the blood starting to pump quickly through his body. He was happy at that moment that Magnus’ hand was on his cheek, keeping him steady, because everything felt blurry for a second. 

He welcomed the kiss, leaning into it and closing his eyes at the feeling of it. He could hardly focus on anything but the sweet taste of red wine on Magnus’ lips, feeling drunk just from the sensation.

His own hands found their way to the other man’s hair, arms resting on Magnus’ strong shoulders. Then, he felt the wet feeling of a tongue trailing along his lower lip, begging for entrance, and he knew what it meant. He allowed it, his body feeling high as the kiss deepened and their tongues met. He liked the way the warlock kissed, the sweet feeling of his mouth felt so experienced, nothing like Alec was used to. It turned him on, sent electrical waves through his body.. 

Taking control over the kiss and pushing the shadowhunter a bit backwards, Magnus tightened his grip on the shorter boy’s thigh. The thick material of the jeans didn’t allow his fingers to dig too deep into the soft, delicate skin underneath. Magnus bit down on the shadowhunter’s lower lip swiftly, but hardly, his body needing to get rid of all the tension. Alec couldn’t help but let go of a soft moan, his cock starting to grow. 

It was like Alec couldn’t get enough of Magnus, needing more of him. Every single movement of his tongue had Alec melting, head spinning and his sight blurring. The strong hand on his thigh moved upwards, and keeping Alec steady with one hand, Magnus starting palming Alec through his jeans. 

The friction had him panting, trying to catch his breath. He almost couldn’t focus on both, and he felt the teeth digging into his lip just before Magnus’ mouth was gone, kissing just behind his ear at the soft spot where Alec liked it. 

His hand sent shocks of pleasure through Alec’s body, touching lightly. Alec wanted to beg for more, but tried to control himself, not wanting to seem too desperate. He had to bite down his lips to keep moans and words from escaping. Thent he hand was suddenly gone, moving up underneath Alec’s shirt where the bare skin was sensitive and soft. Alec wanted the feeling of Magnus’ hand on his cock, he felt it throb in his jeans. 

Magnus’ mouth moved to bite softly at Alec’s earlobe before he said with a hoarse and sexy tone, “Bedroom, now”

Then all the touches were gone and Alec was grabbed by the hand, pulled behind the tall boy towards the bedroom. Magnus pushed Alec into the bed as they reached the room and Alec saw the look in his eyes, determination, eyes burning with lust. It made Alec’s breath catch, needing the touches even more than before. 

Magnus’ eyes were locked with Alec’s as he unbuttoned his own shirt slowly, taking it off to reveal his toned, tanned chest. Alec wanted to feel his skin, to kiss his body. The warlock got on top of Alec, purposely making sure not to touch his cock, not give him any friction. He bent down to brush his lips against the shorter boy’s, but as Alec leaned in to the kiss, trying to get even more of the sweet feeling, Magnus’ mouth was gone again. 

Alec’s hand was pushed into the bed, keeping him in place. It felt almost painful, the way his dick was pressed against his jeans, needing to be released and cared for. Alec couldn’t hide his arousal from the warlock. 

“You look so fucking good, all turned on and horny,” Magnus said, bending down for another kiss. The kiss deepened right away, Magnus’ tongue exploring and caressing the way he knew Alec liked. His mouth was rough, but it felt so pleasant, every touch going straight through his body and making his dick ache even more. 

As they broke apart, Magnus let go of Alec’s hand, trailing his fingers down the shorter boy’s body, the touch feeling so intense even through the fabric of his T-shirt. The feeling in his lower abdomen built as they went further down, stopping at the edge of the shirt to pull it upwards. Alec allowed the warlock to take it off. 

The shorter boy had to keep himself under control to not just flip over the other one and rip off his clothes, he pushed his head back into the bed, closed his eyes and told himself to just calm down. He noticed the warlock move, go downwards, hands suddenly on Alec’s jeans. 

It was just the slight friction as Magnus opened the jeans, but it was enough for Alec to let out a soft moan, pleasure shooting through his body at the sudden feeling. Magnus just pulled down both the jeans and underwears in one go, Alec’s cock bouncing to his stomach, hard and leaking with precum.

The cold air felt like a sting, too much for him. Without even thinking, he was grabbing it with one of his hands, the other one steadying himself on the headboard. He started moving his hand but was cut short, the warlock removing it again, leavin the cock throbbing. 

“Don’t touch yourself unless i tell you too,” Magnus said, voice deep and sexy. He sounded so horny himself as he spoke. 

“Please, just touch me then,” Alec tried to say, it came out as a whimper. He hated to beg, but something about the warlock taking all the control turned him so much on. He wanted to obey him, to please him. He looked up to catch a glimpse of the tall boy removing his own clothes, both of them naked. 

A smirk was on his lips as he got back on top of Alec, trapping both of their cocks between the two bodies. He grinded down, causing enough friction for Alec to close his eyes. 

Then the warm mouth was on his again but only shortly. Magnus reached for something beside the bed and Alec didn’t even have to look to figure out what it was. It was the lube, and Alec once again felt his breath catch, heat rushing to his cheeks. 

“Are you going to fuck me now?” he whispered, it somehow came out shaky, mixed with both lust and fear. To be honest, Alec had never really tried to bottom before, but he had never really wanted to either. But right then, he felt something, the thought of it turning him on in a way he had never experienced. 

Magnus smirked, saying, “No, I want your dick inside me.”. Then he pushed his body of of Alec’s, sitting on his knees with the small bottle in his hand. He poured some out on Alec’s cock, touching it to smear it out. 

Alec couldn’t help but let out a deep sound of pleasure, his body burning with lust underneath the touch. It tightened in his stomach, already feeling so good that he wanted more in that certain way. Just as quickly as it was there, the touch was gone again, leaving Alec with the burning feeling. 

Magnus then poured some out on his own fingers, putting the lube away and resting his body’s weight on one hand right beside Alec’s shoulder. 

The sight before him was so sexy, Magnus reaching down his hand to put the lube-covered fingers into his small, tight hole. Alec saw the pain in Magnus’ eyes, quickly replaced with pleasure as he started moving his fingers in and out. Then he heard the panting, small sounds coming from the horny warlock, and god this was so unfair. Because Alec had been so horny for way too long to handle this, he had to touch himself. He just had to. 

“Don’t touch yourself,” the warlock said shakingly, reading Alec’s mind. He let out a deep moan, waves of arousal showing on his face. Alec reached for a pillow behind his head, needing to dig his fingers into something not to let go of control and just feel his hand on his cock. 

Locking his eyes with Alec’s making sure to catch every single feeling going through his face, Magnus pulled out his fingers and placed himself on top of Alec’s cock. And the tightness was too much to handle, the hole clenching around Alec’s dick as he finally started to push down. He let out a small cry, the sensation burning with pleasure. All he could think was fuck fuck fuck as the tall man lowered himself, bottomed up and just stayed there, waiting for both of them to get used to the tightness. 

Alec’s hands moved to grab the warlocks ass cheeks, squeezing them harshly, digging his fingers deep into the soft skin. Magnus moaned and shot his head backwards, then started moving up and down. 

It started with a slow rhythm but Alec couldn’t get enough. He needed more, tried to quicken the movements by holding onto Magnus’ hips, moaning, “faster, faster” underneath his breath. Even through the panting, he was certain that Magnus had heard him, but he kept the pace nice and slow and Alec whimpered, “please go faster.”

The boy on top of him finally obeyed, the feeling in Alec’s lower abdomen building at every single movement. But he wanted to feel this for as long as possible, the pleasure feeling so intense. And god, Magnus looked so hot, his eyes slightly opened and head tilted backwards, cock bouncing against his stomach, stiff and throbbing. 

Alec couldn’t help but take it into his hand, smearing the precum all over the head and giving it some friction. The tall boy squeezed his eyes shut, moaning deeply, Alec found it so fucking sexy. He hardly even had to move his hand along the length before Magnus was shaking lightly, panting and letting out small words of “yes” between moans. 

“I’m close,” Magnus moaned underneath his breath, and Alec wanted this boy to feel the pleasure and satisfaction, quickening the pace of his hand. He felt the hole clench around his cock, forcing the tension in his stomach to burn. Alec was close as well, had been close ever since Magnus started fucking him. 

The pleasure was getting too much, every fast thrust sending electrical waves through his body all the way down to his toes that had started to curl up. “Me too,” he managed to say, breathing harshly to not let completely go before the beautiful boy on top of him had come.

Then Magnus was moaning loudly, pace quick and tense and he came all over Alec’s stomach, semen shooting from his stiff cock in Alec’s hand. Alec hardly had time to enjoy the sight of the boy riding his orgasm before he was riding his own, the sounds and feeling of the tight hole sending him over the edge. 

He screamed out and Magnus stopping the movement as waves of pleasure still went through the shorter boy’s body. But the tightness had his cock twitching, shooting out the last droplets. 

Magnus collapsed beside the shadowhunter, head resting on the broad shoulder and semen leaking from his hole. Alec couldn’t move, couldn’t think straight. He almost couldn’t keep his eyes open, the teasing having drained him completely. He let out a laugh, feeling light-headed and happy. 

“Fuck,” he whispered. “You’re goddamn sexy.”

Magnus snorted beside him, his cheek feeling sticky and wet where it layed on Alec’s skin. But honestly, Alec couldn’t care less, because he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

“This is what you missed, right?” Magnus asked, his voice sounding ruined. 

“I enjoyed this, yes,” Alec admitted. “But it was mostly just you I missed.” He turned his face to kiss Magnus’ forehead, sweat dripping from his hair and it made Alec’s lips taste salty. 

“I wish it was easier for me to just figure you out,” Magnus said softly, maybe mostly to himself.

“Ask me anything!” Maybe it was about time that Alec stopped caring so much about this whole not-falling-for-Magnus-thing, because he was already in it too deep. 

Magnus didn’t ask anything, he didn’t say anything. He just kept quiet, his breathing turning softer and softer for every second. As they lay there, Alec felt the sleep creep up on him, tiredness spreading in his body. He yawned. 

“I feel like I’m about to pass out,” he whispered, not sure if the boy beside him was even awake still. 

He was. He lifted his head from Alec’s shoulder and looked at him with uncertain eyes. “Are you going to sleep here?”

“I was planning to. If it is alright, I mean?” Alec asked carefully. Magnus’ eyes flickered, he hesitated before he spoke. 

“But what about Raphael? He can’t know I invited you here.” In any other situation, Alec would have thought it was completely fine. He had himself kicked out many boys, not wanting them to spend the night. But for some reason, the words hurt Alec in a way. It made him feel so worthless, so small. He frowned, trying to sound steady. 

“It’s just really late,” he said. 

“I know, I’m so sorry.” Magnus sounded so honest, his eyes showing guilt and if he hadn’t looked so cute and innocent, Alec would maybe have been a bit mad. “It’s just, Raphael can’t know. He would be so pissed at me if he found out, and I just can’t handle it right now, alright?”

Sighing, Alec told himself that there was nothing to do. He didn’t want to pressure the boy to do anything and he wouldn’t want to start a fight with him. He just wished things had been a bit different, it would have made everything so much easier. 

“Alright,” Alec said, getting up from the bed to put on his clothes. His body felt heavy. He was still sticky and smelled like sex, but he was just going right home anyways. 

Looking back at the naked, gorgeous warlock before walking out the room, he felt his chest tighten. Maybe if was just the tiredness spreading. “But Magnus,” He said, looking into the cat-like eyes. “I don’t want all of this to end. I hope you just talk to him, explain this to him.”

The warlock opened his mouth to say something, but then seemed to change his mind. He closed it again, shaking his head softly, not sure how to respond. 

Alec understood that he needed time, so he didn’t pressure him anymore. Instead, he walked to the bed, bending down to cup Magnus’ face. The tall boy smiled underneath the touch. 

Their lips only met in a gentle, swift kiss, before it was gone again. Oh god, how Alec wished that things were different.


	5. When they talk it through

“So, he just kicked you out?” Jace asked, something in his voice sounded amused. Alec didn’t respond, he was trying to concentrate. He sent another arrow through the air. “Well, you sure got a taste of your own medicine.”

“You’re not helping,” Alec said, annoyed. He reached for another arrow, aiming for the target at the end of the wall. 

“But I thought he liked you. Things were going alright, weren’t they?” Jace asked as Alec let go of the arrow. 

Alec turned to look at his blonde brother, who was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. “I think it’s because of you and Izzy!”

“Why?” Jace asked, not following. 

“Well, because he hates you, first of all. And he probably compares me to you in a way.” Alec honestly had no idea, he was just guessing, but it seemed pretty likely “And Izzy apparently did something terrible to that stupid vampire.”

“I don’t believe that bullshit, though,” Jace said.

“I can’t believe this is happening because of my idiot siblings.” Groaning, Alec put down the arrow and bow, already tired of training even though he had just started. 

“What did I even do??” Jace apparently hadn’t been listening at all, because Alec had just explained why Jace was the reason for Magnus rejecting Alec. 

“You had ‘your clashes’ with him,” Alec clarified. 

“Did he really put it that way?”

“Yep.” Alec saw as Jace narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know what that means, though,” Alec said. 

“Well I do,” the blonde brother stated without explaining things to Alec. But Jace was always like that, keeping all the good stuff to himself. 

“You could tell me about it,” Alec suggested and sat down on the floor next to his brother. 

“Ask him,” his brother said, avoiding the topic, apparently. Alec was about to say that Magnus would have already told him if he wanted Alec to know, just to get something out of Jace, but he heard the boy sigh beside him. 

“Look, I know I told you to just have fun while on this mission and not to care about Magnus,” he said, his voice having turned a bit softer. “I think maybe you should just be honest with him about the orders from the clave.”

“That is some awful advice,”

“It just seems like the two of you have this thing,” his brother explained further. “You could end up completely ruining it, it’s better just to tell him now. Magnus is the kind of person who appreciates honesty and values trust.”

“You are crazy.” Alec couldn’t believe this advice was coming from Jace, his brother had never thought that telling an ugly truth was the best solution. “He hardly even trusts me now, he’ll never want to see me again if I’m being honest about this.”

“You don’t know that. And in case you don’t remember, he just kicked you out of his apartment two days ago. What have you got to lose?”

“A lot, Jace. For some reason, I really want this to work out.” Alec felt how true the words were as he spoke them out loud and saw the soft look in Jace’s golden eyes.

“Well, what are you going to do now, then?” Jace asked. 

Alec sighed, feeling kind of empty. “I’m not sure.”

“Why don’t you talk to Izzy, get her to tell Raphael that you are a good guy. Surely, he’ll listen to-“

“Izzy can’t know about all this.”

“Why? She already knows about the orders from the clave.” Jace looked confused. 

“Yeah, but she’ll kill me for having slept with Magnus, for having mixed feelings into all of this. She wouldn’t find it fair. She would force me to tell the truth.”

“Maybe you should, Alec.” Jace said, smiling softly. Alec knew, deep down, that he was right. Because this secret was already burning inside him, and he couldn’t just keep it from Magnus. It wasn’t fair of him.

“Okay, I will.” He finally said, already feeling relieved just thinking about this secret being spoken out loud. 

Alec knocked firmly on the big black door, determined, but a little bit nervous. His palms were sweaty, he tried to dry them in his shirt. 

The door flung open, showing the big living room on the other side. Alec stuck his head inside but saw no one. 

“Hello?” he asked and listened closely, but no one answered. It made him frown, wondering where the warlock was at. 

Since the door had been opened, he walked inside. He hardly made it before it was shut with such force that Alec jumped at the sudden sound. “Magnus” he called out. 

Again, there was no answer, but a black little cat came walking towards Alec at the sound of the shadowhunter’s voice. Chairman Meow quickly started rubbing his small body against Alec’s leg, wanting attention, but Alec didn’t give him any. He was too focused on finding Magnus, this weird feeling filling him up. 

“Magnus,” he tried to call out again, walking further inside, guessing that he must be in the bedroom. But just as he was about to walk inside the bedroom, he saw a tall, dark figure on the balcony, leaning his elbows on the fence, looking out into the night sky. 

He swallowed, feeling suddenly affected by just the sight of Magnus. Maybe it was the realization of what was about to happen, what he was about to tell. 

“Magnus,” Alec said softly as a greeting as he approached the warlock on the balcony. Magnus didn’t turn around, he kept on looking at the city, the many lights in the dark night. “I tried calling out your name, but-“

“I figured you’d find me out here eventually.” Magnus interrupted, his voice sounding small. 

“Are you alright?” Alec had the feeling that something was wrong. He went closer, standing beside the warlock, trying to catch his eyes. But Magnus kept on taking in the sight of New York at night. He smiled a bit, though. 

“I’m better,” he simply said. 

“Sorry about just showing up like this. I wanted to call, but was afraid you wouldn’t let me come,” Alec admitted, wanting to be honest. There was no point in hiding it. 

“It’s alright. I probably would have let you come, anyways.” Magnus sighing, turning his gaze to his hands. Alec realized that he was wearing the golden bracelet he had gotten from the clave as a payment for transfering the memories. It was small and delicate and fitted perfectly, looking as if it belonged there. “I have been thinking about you for the last couple of days, wondering if you were going to come.”

“Of course I was,” Alec hurried to say, reaching out a hand to touch the warlock’s shoulder. He could still feel his warmth through the thin material of his t-shirt. Magnus smiled almost invisibly, finally turning to look at Alec. He wasn’t wearing any makeup and his face looked fair and… exposed, in a way.

They just looked at each other for a second before Alec frowned, asking, “Is Raphael here?” He heard the fear in his own voice, but wasn’t really sure why. 

“Not at the moment,” Magnus answered. 

“Will he be back soon?” Alec liked it better when Raphael wasn’t around. He liked the way Magnus was sweet and honest when the vampire couldn’t tell him how to feel. 

The warlock sighed, looking so tired. But his eyes were soft. “I’m not sure. I told him i needed some time to think, to figure out what I want. I haven’t seen him for a couple of days.”

“Do you think he is just giving you some space?”

“I think so, yes.” Magnus said.

Alec swallowed, gaze suddenly flickering and a feeling of nervousness building. “I actually came to tell you something,” he then said, not thinking it was fair to keep it to himself any longer. “Something I should have told you a while ago.”

“There’s something I need to tell you too!” Magnus also admitted, one hand playing with the golden bracelet on his wrist. Was he nervous as well? Alec couldn’t really tell. 

“Is it about Raphael?” Alec asked, needing to know what Magnus had to say first. He knew he needed to tell Magnus about the orders from the clave, but god it scared him. 

“Partly,” Magnus started off. He got himself off the fence and turned around to face Alec. Even though he was slightly taller than Alec, the look in his eyes made him seem small. He cleared his throat. “The thing is, Raphael knows what it is like to be immortal like me. That’s why his advice matters to me. He knows how it feels to want someone like you, someone who enjoys youth like they only get to live it once - and of course, because that’s how it is for you mortals. But I don’t. I’m sick and tired of being stuck here, I don’t want the endless one night stands and meaningless sex anymore.”

“But what does that have to do with me being mortal?” Alec asked, not sure where this was going. 

“Everything. Because you haven’t been through all of those things yet. And that’s why Raphael is so sceptical, he is trying to protect me, because he knows how mortals need to try everything before they settle down. They are not ready to commit-”

“Well, you don’t know that.” Alec said, understanding now what Magnus meant. “You haven’t even asked me about it.”

“I’ve heard enough about you to know,” Something in Magnus’ voice was hurt, shakingly small. “I mean, I completely understand, I’m not mad or anything. It’s just not what I want, and I just need to be completely clear about that.”

“It’s not what I want either, Magnus,” Alec hurried to say, taking a step forwards to touch the warlock’s arm, reassuring him. “I might be mortal, but I’ve been with enough men to know when something is too special to let go of.”

“I don’t think you understand-”

“Magnus, I’m being honest,” Alec interrupted, not giving the warlock a chance to convince himself that Alec didn’t want this to work out. “In the beginning, I admit, it was just for the sex. But it changed - because I started to feel something, I started to fall for you.”

“Alec, I-” Magnus started, but was interrupted once again, because Alec knew that he was just going to argue with Alec’s feelings. And he wasn’t allowed to. He had to just listen, he had to know. 

“Magnus, I want to commit to this, I want to make this work. And I know that you don’t trust me, you never have, but you gotta believe me this time.” Alec heard how vulnerable his own voice was, but he hardly cared. 

The tall warlock looked away, staring off into the night sky. He sighed. “That’s the thing, Alexander. I think I’m starting to trust you. You haven’t given me any reason not to trust you, really. I feel like it would be so easy for me to just let go of all of this worry and just accept whatever you tell me.”

“Then do it,” Alec said, taking another step forward. He placed a hand on Magnus’ cheek, gently turning his face so they were once again looking at each other. It felt so right, Magnus’ face in Alec’s strong hands, their eyes locked, burning. It made something inside Alec’s chest tighten.

“It just scares me, okay?” Magnus said, his voice dripping with vulnerability and honesty. And Alec completely understood, but he knew how he felt. He wanted this, was ready to start something serious with this boy. 

Alec wanted to say something, but didn’t. Instead he just leaned in, brushing his lips against Magnus’ soft ones. It felt so intimate, so honest and deep. Magnus had to feel this feeling, too, he just had to. Because it was burning so violently beneath Alec’s chest, warning him about the fire that this boy could create within him. 

As the kiss ended, Alec’s lips wasn’t much more than an inch away from Magnus’. They both stayed there, breathing quickly, not saying anything. Alec couldn’t help but catch Magnus’ lips for just a short second again, before they parted completely, pulling away from each other. 

Magnus sighed, but smiled as he did so. “You know how to convince me, that’s for sure.” he then said. 

It made Alec’s heart skip a beat. “Are you convinced now, then?”

“I think so,” Magnus said, but the smile in his eyes was a clear ‘yes’. He then looked down,playing with the bracelet around his wrist once again, laughing a bit. “I’m sorry, what was it you came here to tell me? I never gave you the chance to talk.” 

And Alec had forgotten about it for a second, had been too caught up in admitting his own feelings. “Well,” he started off, but he just couldn’t. Not right now. Everything was too perfect. He sighed. “Nothing more that what I’ve already said.” he ended up lying, but Magnus didn’t notice. At least, Alec didn’t think so. 

He woke up to that certain scent of clean sheets and Magnus, knowing right away that a soft voice had woken him. He didn’t even have to open his eyes to know who it was and a smile was already forming on his lips. 

“Why are you waking me up?” Alec whispered, his voice soft and filled with love. He was too tired to wake up completely, still in the state of waking where every touch and every smell seemed a thousand times more intense. 

He felt soft lips brush his cheek, blood flushing to his face as the feeling was all over him. “Sorry, it wasn’t on purpose,” the warlock said, voice hoarse from sleeping. He must have just woken up himself. 

Still not opening his eyes, Alec reached out to tug the boy beside him into his arms. He heard a soft laugh escaping the warlock’s mouth and then Magnus’ hair was in Alec’s face, the smell of it so familiar and safe. “Let’s sleep a bit more, then,” he said as he placed his arm on the muscular back, keeping the warlock close.

Magnus put his hand on Alec’s chest, tracing small patterns with his fingers. He leaned his head backwards so his mouth wasn’t far from Alec’s, breathing slowly, steadily. Alec enjoyed just feeling Magnus beside him, the feeling of his soft skin and the smell of him. He felt like he was starting to wake up now, not able to fall asleep with someone so gorgeous at his side. He wouldn’t want to miss this moment.

“I’m not really tired anymore,” the warlock whispered as his hand traced upwards from Alec’s chest, finding its way behind Alec’s head and burying his fingers into the dark, soft hair. “Are you?”

“This stupid, beautiful boy just woke me up.” Alec smiled as he spoke, finally opening his eyes. He found Magnus just looking at him with this happy, satisfied gaze, everything about him so perfect. “So no, I’m all awake now.”

“Good. Then kiss me now,” Magnus said, a teasing tone in his voice, but Alec didn’t give him any chance to regret the words. He caught the warlock’s lips with his own and felt everything inside himself regain strength as their mouths were on each other. The sensation was well-known, but it still managed to take him by surprise, just how much joy it filled him with. He smiled underneath the kiss, turning around a bit so they were even closer, his hand still steadying the boy beside him. 

They were naked, Alec just remembered. And as his leg moved slightly, he felt something brush against it. Something already hard. 

“Oh,” he said in between kisses. “So that’s why you woke me up?” he teased, hand trailing downwards to grab Magnus’ ass cheek and squeeze it firmly. The warlock deepened the kiss, pulling lightly at Alec’s hair, forcing their tongues to met, not answering the question. But Alec didn’t need an answer to know.

The shadowhunter always got so turned on whenever Magnus moved his tongue in that experienced way, knowing just how to make Alec want more. He felt it in his body as the kiss got deeper and wetter and he had to close his eyes, getting caught up in the feeling of Magnus. 

It wasn’t a quick, desperate kiss. It was slow and intense and filled with lust from both of them, small sounds managing to fill the room while they kissed. Alec’s fingers were digging into the delicate skin at Magnus’ ass, probably leaving a small mark there. He was sure that the warlock liked it, he felt it in the way he breathed, the way he moved his body even closer to Alec’s. 

Taking sudden control, Alec rolled on top of Magnus, turning him over with force. He liked the small sounds of surprise that the boy made as Alec was holding him down, his own body pressed against the tall, golden-brown skin. Magnus’ dick was already leaking with precum, trapped between the two of them. Alec was starting to feel it in his own body too, the arousal and lust.

“I hardly had to do anything to get you this horny,” he said. Grinding down slowly at the boy beneath him, he watched the warlock’s eyes flicker as the sensation passed through him. He looked so sexy, his hair messy and gaze filled with the need of Alec. 

“I can’t help it,” Magnus tried to say with a hoarse voice, his cheeks burning red. Alec leaned down, crashing his lips against Magnus’, needing to feel the kiss again. He caught one lip between his teeth as he pulled back, the bite hardly felt in the moment, but burning as they parted again. 

“Luckily we have this place to ourselves,” Alec said just before his mouth was on Magnus’ neck, sucking and nibbling lightly, feeling it in his cock as Magnus moaned at the feeling. “We don’t want anyone to hear you.” he whispered into the taller boy’s ear, then bit down at the earlobe. 

Before long, his mouth was kissing and licking, trailing down Magnus’ toned body. He caught a nipple between his teeth harshly before letting it go again, licknig it to soften the sensation. As he made it further down, he felt the tall boy tense his muscles underneath the touches. Alec smirked, loving how much Magnus wanted this. 

He took Magnus’ dick into his mouth causing a deep moan to fill the room, Magnus, shooting his head backwards, enjoyed everything about the feeling. Alec started off slowly, using just his mouth, making the cock smooth and wet with all the saliva. Magnus’ hands were in Alec’s hair seconds later, burying his fingers deep and trying to quicken Alec’s pace. 

But Alec kept on going slow, teasing a bit, enjoying as Magnus started panting, sounds of pleasure everywhere. He couldn’t hold it back, he was just focussing on the feeling of Alec’s mouth on his cock. And it was goddamn sexy. 

Alec’s tongue started to curl around the head, it tasted like precum and he managed to make Magnus twitch as he played with the head but kept the pace going. “Faster,” the warlock moaned, his voice ruined and hoarse, his hands trying to move Alec’s head but Alec reached for them, removing them, not wanting to give Magnus’ what he wanted just yet. 

He heard a deep whimper as he continued moving his head, letting his tongue play on the sensitive skin on the cock. Magnus was still panting, whimpering, moaning “Please, faster,” between every sweet sound of pleasure. 

The phone on the night table started ringing just as Alec was enjoying Magnus’ wrecked sounds the most. He looked up to see if Magnus was going to pick it up, but he hardly even seemed to have noticed. “Don’t stop,” he hurried to whisper as Alec stilled the movement, quickly reminding the shadowhunter that he was in the middle of something that he couldn’t just stop yet. 

Alec took the dick out of his mouth and heard the small whimper, saw the frustrated look in Magnus’ eyes as he spat on his own hand, shortly after stroking Magnus’ cock with firm movements. He used both the hand and the mouth, managing to focus even more on the sensitive head that made Magnus’ body shake lightly with pleasure. Small “fuck fuck fuck,”s were leaving the warlock’s mouth as Alec’s tongue was playing, licking and exploring the cock. 

He quickened the pace as the sounds got deeper and louder, knowing that the warlock was longing for more friction, more speed, getting closer to the edge every second. His body tensed up, twitching at every flick of Alec’s tongue. “Faster, faster,” the boy was still panting, but Alec was already going fast.

A loud knocking on the door interrupted everything, causing both of them to stop dead in their actions. “Magnus, are you in there with Alec?” a voice asked and Alec recognized it right away. It was Raphael, and he sounded rather dissatisfied, even angry in a way. Alec hated Raphael. 

None of them answered, they just looked at each other with wide eyes. Alec felt kind of nervous about what was going to happen now, because everything was different now. They had gotten past the point where something like this could ruin their relationship - hadn’t they?

“I though no one was home,” Alec whispered, not wanting Raphael to hear. 

“Magnus, answer, or I’m coming in,” Raphael said behind the door, this threateningly tone scaring Alec a bit. 

“I thought so to. He must have come home tonight,” Magnus said, pushing Alec slightly aside and getting up, grabbing his bathrobe behind the door. Alec hid underneath the duvet as Magnus opened the door, walking out and into the hallway. 

“What is wrong with you, Raphael? I told you to stay out of this?” Magnus said harshly, probably not meant for Alec to hear. But Alec couldn’t help but listen. 

“You can’t be serious about this” Alec heard Raphael say. 

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, you’re the one staying in my apartment,”

“I’m just looking out for you, as a friend. You can’t trust him.” Raphael didn’t sound angry anymore, he sounded nervous. 

“Well, I don’t want you to. I can look out for myself, make my own decisions. I’m not a kid.”

“I know but-”

“I’m sick and tired of you blaming me for finally having found someone I care about. Stay out of this.” Magnus said, anger in his voice. 

“But you don’t know what-”

“Is he in here?” Alec heard a girl’s voice say, recognizing it right away. And if he hadn’t felt the fear as he heard Raphael speak, he felt it now. Because seconds later his little sister was storming into the bedroom, eyes burning with anger. What the hell was she doing here?

“Izzy?” Alec asked surprised, but she just went right up to him and slapped him across the cheek hard enough for his head to bounce. 

“What the hell were you thinking, are you crazy?” she asked. “Do you have any idea how fucking mad I got when Raphael told me you were sleeping with Magnus?”

“Izzy, calm down, we can talk about this at home,” Alec hurried to say, putting a hand to his cheek, just feeling the burn. He didn’t want her to say something that would cause Magnus to know about the orders, that was probably the worst that could happen right now.

“Seriously, you are such a fucking idiot. We’re leaving now,” she said, bending down to pick up Alec’s clothes and throwing them at his face. “I can’t believe you.”

“Izzy, lower your voice, please,” Alec said, panicked, as he tried to find his underwears in the mess of clothes. He hoped Raphael and Magnus were too caught up in their own talk to hear what Izzy and Alec were talking about. 

“Like hell I am going to do anything you tell me to,” she almost screamed as Alec got dressed, hurrying to put on his trousers and shirt. “How could you do this to him?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Alec knew it was a lie, but said it anyways. 

“Didn’t do anything?” she asked, her cheeks burning with anger. “You fucking used him, you knew he was going to fall for you and you just let him?”

“It’s not like you think,” Alec tried to say in a calm voice, wanting Izzy to stop talking so loudly. “We’ll talk once we are back at the institute.”

“You sure have some explaining to do.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him out the room, past the two boys arguing in the hallway. 

“Can’t I just say goodbye?” Alec asked as they passed Magnus and Raphael, but Izzy kept going towards the door. Alec hardly even got a glimpse of Magnus.

“No fucking way. I think you have done enough,” she said and the door fell shut behind them. Alec regretted everything, he regretted having ever lied. He regretted having accepted the orders from the clave. And most of all, he regretted having fallen for the warlock. Because if he hadn’t, things would have been different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't lie. I guess that's the point of this. Alec should have just told Magnus that night at the balcony, right?


	6. When it all goes wrong

Alec tried to call Magnus for probably the 100th time, going to voicemail right away once again. He threw the phone onto the bed, annoyance and regret filling him, groaning loudly, because he felt so powerless. He then sighed, closing his eyes and reminding himself that he deserved this. 

He hadn’t even looked at Isabelle for about a week now, he had tried to avoid her wherever the two of them had to be. It had been mutual, this dislike starting because of something so stupid. Alec had never been fighting with Isabelle like this before and he hated it. 

But at the same time, he was hurting. He was hurting badly, in a way he hadn’t really tried before. He needed to talk to Magnus, to explain things to him. He wished that Isabelle had given him the chance to tell this himself, because it would have been better. Magnus should have never heard from Raphael, the stupid vampire ruined everything.

He knew it was a bad idea already before the thought was on his mind, but he found himself standing outside Magnus’ apartment door later that night. He wasn’t really thinking clearly, his head feeling heavy and blurry and something in his body pulling him downwards, draining him. 

He knocked shakingly, wondering if Magnus could even hear it. He tried again, this time it was louder. 

Something inside him knew that Magnus needed time, needed to think this through and decide whether it was forgivable. Time was just so hard to give, and every single second made the hole inside of Alec grow and he couldn’t take it anymore. 

The door started to open slowly, just showing Magnus’ figure before it started closing again. Alec hurried to put his foot in the way, keeping the door from closing completely. 

“Please, Magnus, just hear me out,” Alec said shakingly, his voice unsteady and small. He wasn’t sure when it had gotten like that, maybe it had been like that for days. 

“Nothing you say can change anything,” Magnus answered coldly. He tried to push Alec’s foot out of the way, but Alec put force on the door, wanting it to open. 

“I’m so sorry about this. I should have told you right from the start. I shouldn’t have let it come this far,” Alec tried to argue, feeling the regret built inside once again. But he knew it was pointless. 

“I don’t want to talk to you. Leave me alone,” Magnus tried to close the door once again but didn’t succeed. 

“I can’t.” He said, forcing his voice to not break. “I miss you so much, Magnus, it’s too hard to just-”

“You should have realized that earlier, then,” the warlock sated, his voice tired and hurt. Alec swallowed. 

“I know. I’m so sorry,” he said. “It was just so perfect and I didn’t want to ruin everything.”

A second passed where none of them said anything. Then the door swung open, Magnus standing with red, swollen eyes, something burning behind them. “Did you really think you could just keep this secret forever?” he said. “After I talked to you about trust and honesty? I can’t believe you could do this to me, you know how I feel about you. I opened myself up and you didn’t even care. You just used me. This is why I don’t involve myself in shadowhunter business. Because you care more about your stupid pride than you care about the feelings of others.”

Alec stood paralyzed for a second, realizing how true every word was. But also wanting to argue, because one thing that Alec never lied about was his feelings. They were real, and they were burning inside of him, making his whole body ache. But he couldn’t say it, couldn’t speak the words. He couldn’t tell Magnus that he cared about him too, even more than he cared about anything else right now.

Magnus shook his head, exhaling slowly, trying to keep all emotions in check. “Just leave me alone, I want nothing to do with it,” he said then, kicking Alec’s foot out of the way and closing the door. 

“Alexander Lightwood,” the piercing, cold voice said, staring at the shadowhunter with nothing in her gaze. “Why have you called me here?”

“Inquisister,” Alec greeted, he hated talking to her, hated the way she could make him feel. “I have been doing as you’ve told me to, keeping an eye on Magnus Bane, gaining his trust,” he explained, his voice loud and clear, but slightly shaking. He had to clear his throat, he didn’t want to sound small. 

It was only Alec in the room, the inquisitor was visible on the big screen, tilting her head slightly as if he had now caught her interest. “Continue,” she said. 

“I do not believe that Magnus Bane has anything to do with the missing memories. He has shown no interest in wanting to find the holy book himself,” Alec stated. 

“What do you mean with no interest? This book is powerful for even a warlock,” Imogen said, a doubtful tone in her voice. She surely didn’t believe Alec, never really believed anyone. 

“Yes. But Magnus does not believe in the disappearance of the book,” Alec wasn’t really sure how else to put it, because it was what had convinced him. Maybe it would convince the inquisitor as well. 

“I don’t understand.” Her voice was empty and cold. 

“He believes that the book has been placed somewhere under the claves protection,” Alec clarified, needing her to understand. “He and other warlocks are not searching for the book because of this.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just a mind game, Magnus Bane is smart, he can’t be trusted,” Imogen said harshly. “Does he trust you enough to tell you the truth?”

Alec hesitated, thinking about the night they had gone for the walk together. He had to admit, Magnus didn’t trust him back then. But would he lie about something like this?

“I am certain that its the truth.” was all that Alec said, but he wasn’t really as certain as he said. He felt like Imogen looked right through him, she narrowed her eyes. 

“Ask him again,” she said. “And get him to stop spreading these awful rumors about the clave.”

Alec had feared that she might say something like that. “Unfortunately, I gambled his trust gaining this information,” he explained, his heart in his throat, knowing that this wasn’t viewed well upon. 

Imogen flinched, her gaze piercing Alec with hate. “Does he know about the orders?”

He opened his mouth, searching for the words. It was like nothing came to his mind. “He knows by mistake,” he ended up saying, knowing it wasn’t an excuse, not in the eyes of the clave. 

“I don’t want any of my shadowhunters to make mistakes, do you understand? This, Alexander Lightwood, will be discussed by the clave.”

“I understand,” was all that he could say, not wanting to tell Imogen that it was actually Isabelle who had told the truth. He had to take the consequences because it was his fault that he had ended up here. It should have been him telling Magnus about the orders, anyways. 

“I believe we are done here.” Imogen said. “You are officially removed from this case.”

The screen went black and Alec swallowed, scared of what was to come now. 

It was raining. And Alec usually liked rain, because it made him feel so safe to stay inside and listen to the small droplets play on the window. The drumming sound had made him feel calm and relaxed as he was younger and he had always found comfort in the smell of it. 

But this particular night, he hated the rain. Because it made him so exposed to all these emotions, everything surfacing at every single drop of water falling from the sky. He needed to clear his head, needed some fresh air to distance himself from these feelings. 

He hardly even cared about getting wet as he walked outside only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He had left his phone in his room, trying to push everything, but the rain, away. Maybe it was because he had to welcome it, make it get to him. 

His mind was turned off as he walked through the city. The images of that one night, walking through New York with Magnus came to his mind. The streets were mostly empty, only a couple of cars passed Alec now and then. 

It wasn’t exactly cold, but the wetness made Alec shiver a bit. 

He hadn’t even realized that he was heading towards Magnus’ apartment before he was standing outside the building, taking in the sight. Why he was there was a big question, Magnus didn’t want him here. Didn’t even want to hear him out. 

All these emotions that had surfaced was like a tight pressure just beneath his ribcage. He hadn’t even noticed that he had started crying, all the rain running down his face had gotten mixed with the tears. It was the sensation in his chest that made his realize, the burning in his throat as small whimpers escaped. 

He reminded himself that he had no right to cry and forced it back. He should really just go home, but he couldn’t. So he just stood there, freezing, body shaking from both the pain in his chest and the coldness in the air. 

Three floors above him was the big, wide window that showed Magnus’ living room. The light was on, everything seemed as it always was. Warm, safe, welcoming. Magnus wasn’t there, though. A sound got caught in Alec’s throat, somewhat a whimper, it felt painful. 

Then the door leading to the apartment opened. Alec heard the sound of it, the door being a couple of meters away from where he stood, soaking wet, eyes burning from the salty tears.. 

“Alexander,” It was Magnus, sounding worried and scared. Alec felt so guilty, he shouldn’t have Magnus worry like this. He could hardly even face him, knowing how much he had already put him through, but as their eyes locked anyways, Alec felt a pressure building in his throat. 

He couldn’t help it as he started crying again, closing his eyes, trying to keep it under control.

“Alexander, come inside, you can’t just stay out here in the rain,” Magnus said with his soft, deep voice, and it made everything worse. He shouldn’t be so nice. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come,” Alec managed to say through small whimpers, breathing slowly and deeply, forcing himself to keep his feelings in check. 

“It’s too late to go back now, you’ll just get sick. Come on inside,” Magnus insisted, opening the door wider. He was wearing a pair of jogging pants and a loose hoodie, Alec had never seen him in something like that before. He took in a deep breath, telling himself that Magnus was right. He would get sick if he stayed out here. 

“You shouldn’t be so nice to me,” Alec said as he walked towards Magnus, reminding himself that this wasn’t what he deserved. 

“You shouldn’t be outside right now just wearing that,” Magnus argued, sending Alec a worried look as he took in the sight of the shadowhunter, t shirt and jeans completely soaked, hair sticking to his face, dripping with water. 

“How did you even know?” Alec asked. 

“I saw you from my window. You looked so lost.” They were walking up the stairs, heading for the apartment. 

“I don’t even know how I made it here. I know you told me to stay away, but I just-”

“Look,” Magnus interrupted, voice tired, but honest, stopping outside the big black door leading to his home. “Right now, you just need to take a shower and put on some dry clothes, then we’ll talk, alright?”

“I can just leave if you don’t want-”

“No, listen. It was wrong of me to just send you away, look where it got you. Maybe we need to talk it through,” he said as they walked inside. 

Magnus had left him some dry clothes. A plain black t shirt and a pair of black jeans that were way too long on Alec’s legs, so he had to fold them at the bottom. He had forgotten just how tall the warlock was, was reminded as he looked in the mirror and saw how big the clothes seemed on him. 

He smiled a bit, already feeling better after the shower. Maybe it was because everything inside the bathroom smelled like Magnus, the shampoo, the conditioner and the soap, it relaxed him a bit. 

He walked back into the living room, barefoot, finding Magnus on the couch. Something was in his hand, something he turned around impatiently. Alec wasn’t sure what it was.

“Thank you for the shower,” Alec said softly as he approached the warlock. Magnus hurried to shove the thing back into his pocket, turning around with a surprised look. 

“That was fast,” he said, but then smiled as he saw Alec standing in the big clothes, hair messy and wet. “Do you feel better now?” 

“Much better,” Alec sat down on the couch next to the warlock, realizing that Chairman Meow was on its back on the couch as well, wanting attention. Smiling, Alec rubbed its belly and it purred happily. “Was that the bracelet?” he then asked, referring to what Magnus’ had just shoved into his pocket. 

The warlock sighed, taking it out again and putting it on the table before them. It was the golden bracelet, it seemed so small and delicate when it wasn’t worn. Alec had only ever seen it on the arm of the stone statue resembling Raziel at the clave’s headquarters, and that one night on Magnus’ wrist. He must admit, it didn’t seem valuable as it lay there. 

“Why don’t you wear it?” Alec didn’t want to ask anything forbidden, but he was a bit curious. Magnus had gone through so much trouble just to get it. And Alec had seen it around his wrist, it fitted perfectly. “It looks really good on you.”

“Don’t start flirting,” Magnus stated, but Alec sensed that he didn’t really mean the words. 

“Sorry.” the shadowhunter said. “I was just wondering. It’s such a beautiful bracelet.”

“It reminds me of someone,” was all he said, voice nostalgic in a way. 

“Who? Someone I know?” Alec couldn’t help but ask, reaching for the bracelet to hold it in his own hand. It was heavier than it looked, every little detail beautifully made. 

“Someone who died about 300 years ago,” Magnus explained. “I gave it to her as a gift. It used to be mine, you know.”

“Why did you give it to her?” It felt weird, holding the bracelet and knowing that Magnus had given it to someone else. He put it back on the table, petting the cat instead. 

“Well, I cared about her,” the warlock explained. “Actually, I loved her. I’m sure she loved me too, once, but it wasn’t acceptable for a shadowhunter to be with a downworlder back then. So she had to choose, and she chose the clave.”

The way he had said it, like it wasn’t a big deal, clearly showed that it was. It hurt him to say it out loud, Alec could feel it. 

“I’m really sorry about that,” Alec said honestly. He offered Magnus an empathic smile. “But I’m not like that.”

“That’s the thing, Alexander, every shadowhunter is like that. They’d always choose their own kind if they are forced to make the decision. And in this world, the time will come for every shadowhunter to choose.”

“Look,” Alec said softly, turning a bit on the couch so their eyes were locked and he realized that Magnus’ cat-like ones seemed so sad, vulnerable, Alec felt like Magnus must have put strength into telling these things. “I know that what I did was wrong, spying on you, working for the clave. But the thing it, I don’t agree with them. And you were right, deep down, I don’t really trust them.”

“You should never trust the clave. I learned that lesson a long time ago, and then you come around and I let myself get mixed into clave-business once again.”

“I know how it might seem, but I’m not here because of the clave right now,” Alec said, reaching for Magnus’ hand but the warlock pulled his away before Alec could grab it. He swallowed, telling himself that this was okay. “I’m here because of you Magnus. Because I’m in love with you and it hurts me to think about the fact that I’ve ruined this because I went along with whatever the clave threw my way.”

He saw as the warlock’s gaze flickered at his words, something in his eyes burning. Alec had always wished that the first time he said those words to someone, they would say them back. Magnus didn’t, he just kept on looking at Alec, breathing slowly, deeply. 

“If you had just told me, Alexander. It’s not about the orders, I understand how the clave can be. It’s about you keeping this from me,” Magnus said, voice hardly above a whisper. “If you had been honest, maybe I could have forgiven you. But I can’t now.”

Alec wasn’t sure what to say now, he shook his head, staring off into the air. “Jace told me to tell you about it,” he then said, mostly reminding himself. “I should have just listened to him.”

“Jace?” Magnus asked, as if he was just checking that he’d heard everything correctly. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I thought he hated you. Apparently not, he didn’t want me to hurt you,” Alec explained, remembering how Jace had suddenly wanted to protect Magnus.

“Oh,” Magnus exhaled softly, gaze turning to look at his hands in his lap. 

“Tell me, what was it that happened between the two of you?” Alec asked, wanting to know now. Because it felt like this big secret that he wasn’t allowed to be part of and he was growing tired of it. He knew he had no right to demand anything right now, but here he was, being completely honest - the least thing that Magnus could do was to be honest as well. 

“Now is not really the time,” Magnus said as an excuse for keeping this to himself. 

“Are you ever going to tell me, then?” Alec didn’t sound demanding, angry or irritated, he just sounded curious. 

“Maybe not,” Magnus admitted. “You should just ask Jace if you really want to know, I feel like he should tell you, not me.” 

“I already asked him and he told me to ask you.” 

Magnus seemed to argue with himself, face looking confused, debating whether to tell this or not. He seemed to come to a conclusion. “Well, I guess it doesn’t really change anything, anyways. When you walk out that door later, we probably won’t see each other again, so-”

“Don’t say that,” Alec interrupted, feeling his chest tighten at the words, but realizing that if that was what Magnus wanted, then that was how it was going to be. It was like a slap across his face, burning with pain. He felt it in his hand, how it longed to reach out for the warlock, caress his face. But he didn’t.

“I keep on having to remind myself not to fall for shadowhunters. It’s about time that I start to listen to myself,” Magnus said softly, clearing his throat. “It was the same with Jace.”

“You fell for Jace? You told me he wasn’t even your type?”

“Well, I lied. And I never fell for him, it was more like a crush,” Magnus clarified and the words made Alec feel jealousy creep up on him, spreading in his body. For some reason, the thought of Magnus finding anyone else but Alec attractive made his heart race, blood pumping to his cheeks. 

“Jace isn’t gay.”

“I know that. And I realized at some point, but Jace had already started to like all of the attention. So he made sure to keep it.”

Alec had to keep his voice under control, anger building inside of him as he spoke. “What did he do?” he asked. 

“He wanted to make me think that I had a shot with him. He liked to play me, to keep me as his toy.”

“But if you knew, why didn’t you just tell him to stop?” Alec wasn’t really sure if he was mad at Jace or at Magnus. He was mad at Jace for having treated the warlock like that, but knew he was no better himself. And Magnus, why did he just let people run him over like that? Why did he ever like Jace? Why couldn’t he realize that Alec wasn’t Jace and was deeply in love with him? 

“I did, I told him to stay away from me, that I didn’t want anything to do with him.” Magnus explained, sounding hurt as he spoke. Alec felt sorry for him, but mostly, he just felt the jealousy in his body, burning like a fire he couldn’t contain. “Then he kissed me and left. And I didn’t see him again until about a year later.”

“He kissed you?” Alec asked angrily, his voice had gotten louder and more intense. “I can’t believe you never told me this, and I can’t believe Jace never told me this!”

“I didn’t really want you to know,” Magnus said carefully, surprised at how much this affected Alec. 

“He’s my brother, Magnus. You were in love with my brother!” Alec said accusingly, pain in his voice. 

“I wasn’t in love with Jace.” Magnus stated, his tone having turned harsher as well. “It was never anywhere near what I feel for you, okay? And I feared that it might change the way you see me if you ever found out, that’s why I never told you.”

“He’s my brother.” Alec argued again. 

“Well, does it matter now? All of this is in the past anyways, and you’ve kept worse from me.”

Alec felt it again, the burn of knowing that this was ending. It overshadowed the anger, made his chest hurt, reminding him that he was in love with Magnus. “Is that why you are denying all of this,” he said, gesturing between the two of them. “If you think I’m just gonna use you for the attention like Jace did, you are wrong. I’m not, because I want this to work out. I care about you, Magnus.”

Alec couldn’t help but reach out a hand to cup Magnus’ cheek. It felt so warm and soft, small electrical waves went through Alec’s body at just the feeling of Magnus’ skin. The warlock sighed, looking down, but it clearly affected him as well. 

“It doesn’t change anything. Nothing you say changes anything.”

And Alec was about to argue, because it felt so right with Magnus. The warlock had to feel it too, all of these emotions needing them to be together. He was about to tell him that he was wrong, that sometimes you have to forgive and forget before things will work out. 

But he didn’t have the time to do it before a big portal appeared in the living room, both of the boys jumping off the couch in surprise. Alec swore under his breath, scared of what was to come.


	7. When Magnus needs saving

It was like Alec had seen the scene play out in his mind even before it happened, felt the fear, the worry and concern as Imogen Herondale and three clave members stepped out of the portal. Alec hardly had the time to realize what was happening, frozen in time where he stood by the couch, before two members were grabbing one of Magnus’ hands each. 

“Magnus Bane, you are under the arrest of the clave for spreading rumors with the intention of hurting the clave and plant doubt in their authority,” Imogen said coldly, in no way recognizing Alec’s presence. 

“What?” both Magnus and Alec said at the same time, the clave members trying to force Magnus towards the portal as he tried to resist their grip. “There is no law against that, you can’t arrest me for this,” Magnus tried to argue, his tone harsh and angry. Imogen hardly even seemed to hear what the warlock was saying. 

“Magnus Bane, you have been a threat to the clave ever since it was founded, we will not accept this any longer,” Imogen stated.

“He has done nothing wrong, let him go,” Alec felt anger built inside and he took a couple of steps towards Magnus, wanting to free him, but was caught by the last clave member, pushed out of the way. 

“If you know what is best for you, Alexander Lightwood, you keep your mouth shut and stay out of this.” Imogen said threateningly, her gaze piercing Alec in that certain way that made his blood turn cold. “I thought I officially removed you from the case. You have no purpose here”

“I’m not breaking any laws by being here.” Alec was not just going to let her do this. She couldn’t. Alec hadn’t known that it could be used against Magnus when he had told the inquisitor about Magnus not believing in the disappearance of the book. Now he felt so stupid for having been the one to tell her about it.

“Maybe not, but the clave does not like it when you lie to them, or when you hide your relationship with the High Warlock of Brooklyn.”

“I’ve never lied to the clave and I’m not hiding anything,” Alec almost screamed and tried to get past the clave member blocking his way, but couldn’t. He was caught by the arm, it being forced behind his back in an uncomfortable way. He hissed at the pain. 

“I believe we are done here,” the inquisitor then said, nodding her head at the clave members holding Magnus, telling them to push him through the portal. They managed with force, Magnus struggling to get away. Alec screamed out for him as he saw the frightened look on the warlock’s face.

“Where are you taking him? To the city of bones?” Alec needed to know. It was very dangerous for a warlock to be questioned in the bone city, Alec knew that much, and he was afraid of how far the clave was willing to go to keep their name clean. 

“Not yet,” was all the inquisitor answered. 

“Then where? Tell me!” Alec demanded, trying to get out of the grip again, but receiving a stinging pain in his arm at the attempt. 

“Things doesn’t look good for you already, shadowhunter. If you don’t stay out of this, you might be convicted for high treason against the clave, and we don’t want that, do we?”

Alec’s face was burning red with anger, his breathing was out of control. He couldn’t believe he ever trusted the clave, they had no interest in protecting people. All they cared about was power. As Imogen nodded again, Alec was pushed away, hardly managing to stay on his feet. Then the last clave member and the inquisitor walked through the portal and it vanished, leaving just Alec in the living room. Well, actually, leaving just Alec and the black, scared cat, hiding behind Alec’s leg in fear. 

Alec stormed into Izzy’s room out of breath, face red and everything completely soaking wet. He had put on a rain coat as he had left Magnus’ apartment, not sure why the warlock would even have one, and then he had run all the way to the institute as fast as he could. 

“Alec?” Izzy asked shocked as her brother stormed inside looking angry. 

“Imogen just came by Magnus’ apartment. The clave had him arrested, they threatened to do the same to me,” Alec spat out, almost passing out from the lack of breathing. But his blood was pumping fast through his body with the hate he felt towards the clave. For a moment, it overshadowed his hate towards his siblings. 

“What did they arrest him for?” Izzy asked, suddenly alert. She stood up, her eyes were already burning with anger. 

“For spreading rumors about the book not really being gone. Magnus thinks the clave hid it.”

“They can’t just do that, Alec. We need to do something,” Izzy stated, and Alec knew that his sister had a sense for justice. She couldn’t bear the thought of someone being treated unfairly. “We have to stop them before anything happens to him.”

“Can we all just calm down a second,” a voice said from Izzy’s desk chair and Alec hadn’t even noticed Jace in the room before now. “First of all, why are you holding a cat underneath your rain coat.”

“It’s not just any cat, it’s Chairman Meow. And I couldn’t just leave him there alone, he was scared,” Alec said without even looking at Jace, his tone had turned harsh. Chairman hissed at Jace. 

“But if we are going to-”

“I don’t want any of you in on this, I just want to know where Magnus is,” Alec clarified before Jace had the time to say anything, and saw as Izzy wanted to argue. 

“But the clave said-”

“Look I don’t care what the clave says or how much they threaten me, they need to be stopped. And right now, I don’t really trust any of you, so if you will just help me figure out where Magnus is, I’ll take it from there,” Alec interrupted his sister before she could finish her sentence. He saw the confused look in both of their faces. 

“What did I do?” Jace asked, annoyed, standing up from the chair as well. Chairman hissed again so Alec put him down on the floor. In no seconds he was hiding behind Alec’s legs as he had done in the apartment. 

“Did you really think you could keep that secret forever?” Alec was finally looking at his brother, sending him a blameful look. A flash of something went through Jace’s face and his expression turned guilty, he looked down at his feet. “Oh,” he then exhaled. 

“I just don’t understand why they would threaten you, you have done nothing wrong,” Izzy said, seeming to not catch on to what was happening between her brothers. She looked confused. 

“The clave thinks that I told Magnus about the orders, they are blaming me for that. It’s categorized as high treason,”

“Why would the clave think-”

“Look Izzy, we don’t have much time, so do you know where they are or not? Otherwise, I’m just gonna go again.” Alec interrupted impatiently. 

“They could be in the city of bones, but why would they-”

“They’re not in the city of bones, Imogen told me that.” Alec stated, cutting his sister off once again. It seemed to startle her a bit, she narrowed her eyes, thinking. 

“What about the glass hall?” Jace asked softly. “I mean, they can’t portal Magnus to Idris without permission and it usually takes 3 days to get one. The clave uses the glass hall if official clave business has to be done at the institute.”

“They could have gotten the permission beforehand,” Izzy suggested.

“It’s worth a shot,” Alec stated, turning around to run towards the glass hall. Then he remembered something. “Oh and, Izzy, will you give the cat something to eat, maybe he is hungry.”

The thing was that Alec was very aware of the power that the clave had. They could easily find an excuse to have Alec deruned if he was to cross them, Alec knew that. But he just didn’t care for some reason, he had had enough. 

He ran towards the glass hall and threw himself at the door, trying to get it open. It was locked, Alec had to fumble for his stele in his pocket, realizing that this meant they were here. He finally got it out and drew the unlocking rune, hearing the clicking sound. 

He didn’t even think before he barged inside, causing every person in the room to turn their gaze towards him. Magnus was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, hands cuffed and face scared and hurt. Alec felt it in his chest, how it tightened as he saw him. Their eyes met and Alec wanted to run up to him and tell him that things were going to be alright. 

“Alexander Lightwood, I thought I was clear about you having to stay out of this,” Imogen said angrily once she realized who it was that had barged in. She took a couple of steps closer to him, her face strict, causing Alec to turn his attention away from the gorgeous boy who was really the reason he was here.

Other than them, Victor Aldertree was in the room. He and Imogen were the main figures in the clave, Victor being her right hand and the only other person to have a say on whatever the clave decided. Alec had never liked him, but he had however seen some humanity in the man, contrary to the inquisitor. 

“The clave will not get away with this. Once the shadowhunters hear about you imprisoning an innocent downworlder, people will get furious,” Alec stated, walking further into the room. 

“He is not innocent. And they will never know why he was sent to prison,” Her voice was cold as ice. 

“You are not going to shut me up!” he shouted.

“If you say one word, the clave will have you sent away as well. Because you broke the law by telling Magnus about the orders, that’s more than enough for us to get you deruned.” Alec felt his body stiffen, it was like there was no human being behind the strict face and the piercing eyes of the inquisitor. 

“This has nothing to do with Alec, this is a century-long fight between me and the clave. Don’t punish the boy,” Magnus said tiredly from the chair in the middle of the room. Alec noticed that he had bruises down his arms, ones he hadn’t had at the apartment. 

“Nothing will happen if he just leaves now,” Aldertree said, all while the inquisitor didn’t take her eyes off of Alec. Her gaze felt like stabs to the chest. 

“You have no idea what this is about, Alexander,” she said slowly, dragging out every word. 

“All I know is that it is the clave’s job to keep the peace between shadowhunters and downworlders, it’s their job to protect downworlders as well” 

“And we can’t do that if the downworld loses their trust in us,” Imogen said accusingly. 

“The downworld has already lost their trust in you,” Magnus stated, his cat-eyes looking so empty. As if he had given up. “This is exactly why.”

“Do you really think that sending Magnus Bane to prison will change that?” Alec spat out, his face red of anger. He almost couldn’t believe that shadowhunters trusted these people, allowed them to take charge and decide what happened to everybody in the shadow world. 

“Him spreading lies about the clave is definitely not-”

“I never spread lies. Only the clave spreads lies.” Magnus interrupted, talking calmly. 

Aldertree was quick at his steps, grabbing Magnus by the arm and shaking him roughly, fingers digging deep into his skin. “No one gave you permission to talk.”, he shouted loudly, then threw his arm back with force. 

“You let him talk or I’ll-” Alec stated, starting to walk towards Magnus once again, but before he knew it, Imogen was in the way, a seraph blade in her hand as she stood between the two boys. 

“If you don’t leave now, I’m getting you sent away, removing you from this institute.”

“Is it because he is telling the truth? Are you really hiding the book somewhere, pretending it is gone?” Alec had to tell himself that Imogen wasn’t going to hesitate before using the blade not to throw himself at her. But he saw it in her eyes as a wave of uncertainty went through them. He hardly cared about her threats right now, though.

“It is none of your business. The clave has the responsibility to-”

“The clave has to keep the peace. The clave has to protect us all. You are doing none of that by lying to us, hiding the truth.” Alec interrupted, he watched as Aldertree tensed beside Magnus.

“We are not hiding the truth,” Imogen stated harshly. 

“Even if you aren't, this is not keeping peace. Asking me to spy on a downworlder is not okay, that is what creates mistrust and war. We need to treat them as equals if we expect them to have respect for us, and the clave never treated downworlders like that. I can’t believe you get away with doing this.”

“We do what needs to be done. The clave’s judgement is not clouded by emotions,” Imogen said harshly.

Alec felt out of words for a second, he wanted to scream out that this wasn’t fair, but there was no way it was going to help. It was like all of this anger had started to built, like it made a lump appear in his throat. He forced it away. 

“Look, I’ll admit it if you want me to. I care about Magnus, but it is not why I am here. I am here because the clave has gone too far. You need to start realizing what our values are as shadowhunters. Lying to our own kind? Lying to the downworlders we are here to protect? That is not it.”

But Alec had forgotten what little humanity the woman before him was made of, because she raised the blade and narrowed her eyes. “I take it you won’t let go of this nonsense about the clave lying? The law is hard, but it is the law - and since you broke it-”

“Alec never broke the law,” Magnus interrupted, voice loud and certain. Alec hadn’t noticed before now, but it was like something had reached the warlock. This will to fight for what was right. It was clear in his cat-like eyes, they were burning. “It wasn’t him who told me about the orders.”

“Don’t,” Alec said firmly, sending Magnus a certain look. He couldn’t just give his little sister to the clave, delivered on a silver plate. Even though he might hate her for not minding her own business, he also loved her too much to do something like this. 

He wasn’t the one deciding though, because as confusion was in Aldertree and Imogen’s eyes, the door to the glass hall swung open once again. 

“Let Alec go. I told Magnus about the orders.” his sister stated.

“Isabelle Lightwood, you have no purpose here. Leave immediately.”

“I am not leaving until you let my brother go,” she said stubbornly, storming inside and standing beside Alec. She looked so determined, like she was ready to risk everything. But again Alec was reminded that his sister couldn’t live without justice having been done.

“It has already been decided what will happen to both your brother and Magnus Bane,” Imogen wasn’t even looking at Izzy, she was staring at Alec, piercing him with her gaze. It was clear exactly what she meant. 

“You cannot do anything to him, he never broke the law.”

“The clave can do whatever the clave wants to do. We are sending him away, off to somewhere where he can do no harm,” she explained as if it was all just a game to her, as if it wasn’t people’s lives she was gambling with. 

“But Imogen, if he didn’t break the law? We do not punish shadowhunters for what they haven’t done,” Aldertree suddenly said, shocking both Alec and Isabelle as well. Imogen took in a sharp breath, not letting her eyes off of the siblings before her, but clearly startled.

“If I can’t sent Alec away, I’ll do it to his sister. Is that preferable?.” Alec hated how she had the power to threaten to ruin his sister’s life without Alec being able to do anything. Hated the way she made it seem like a question, like a choice he had to make.

“You can’t just do that, if words get out about it, it could start an uprising. Sending Isabelle and Magnus away will only do harm, create mistrust and war,” Aldertree argued, walking towards the three of them. “You need to act carefully.”

And Alec was shocked to hear those words from the mouth of someone as loyal to the clave. He was shocked, because one thing the clave never did was doubt their own authority. But maybe things were changing, just slightly, but enough for Alec’s words to have made a difference. 

Cold wind was playing with his hair as Alec waited impatiently outside the big building, feeling nervous. He had only been here for a couple of minutes, but it felt like forever - why was he such a nervous wreck at the moment? He reminded himself to calm down.

Then the door opened and Mangus stepped out. Alec felt his breath get caught in his throat as he noticed the bruises on his arms once again, being reminded of what had happened two days ago at the glass hall. 

“Hey, sorry I haven’t really called,” Magnus said quietly. He walked closer to Alec, but stood a couple of steps from him, unsure of how to act. 

“I understand. But I need to talk to you.” Alec admitted, having felt this need to take care of Magnus and protect him ever since what happened. 

“I figured that was why you wanted to see me.” He said it with a hint of a joking tone, but Alec sensed that it was a sensitive topic. And he knew it wasn’t it, but he felt like Magnus had been avoiding him for the past days.

Magnus blinked a bit, starting to walk down the street. They had agreed to go for a walk together, so Alec hurried to catch up, quickly falling into steps beside the dark-haired, tall warlock. 

The weather was like late Autumn, cold in the air, but the sun was shining through cracks in the sky. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes, probably both needing the time to think. And to forget for just a second about all of this they had put each other through.

“I miss you,” Alec said eventually, not even looking at Magnus. He just needed him to know, because he couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. It was taking up so much space inside of him.

“I miss you too.” Magnus answered softly. 

Then silence fell on them again, and it was like they found comfort in it. There was just so many things in the air, so many words none of them said, so many emotions filling them. 

A sunbeam had made its way through the clouds and was lighting up Alec’s face, warmth spreading in his body. For the first time in some time, he couldn’t help but smile a bit. 

And it for some reason came so naturally as he reached for Magnus’ hand, their fingers intertwining. His own was a bit sweaty, but Magnus’ was soft and warm and everything that the gorgeous boy was as well. 

This gorgeous boy that he was in love with, who sent electrical shocks through Alec’s body with every single small movement or word. 

“What is going to happen now?” Alec asked with a small voice, not wanting to ruin the moment, but needing to know. 

“You’ve started something. Inspired people to stand up for themselves. Probably an uprising will come.” The tall boy was holding onto Alec’s hand like he was so afraid of letting it go. But Alec had a feeling that everything wasn’t as perfect as it felt in that moment. It was just so hard to end it. 

“You know that wasn’t what i meant,” the shadowhunter explained softly, already regretting it. But he couldn’t just pretend that everything was fine, it was going to end up hurting both of them.

“I know,” Magnus admitted after a second, his soft hair falling into his eyes as he dropped his head a bit. “But I just need some time to figure all of this out. It’s not about you, it’s about shadowhunters and their own world where only they are allowed. I’m not ready to be part of it.”

“You don’t have to be part of it if you don’t want to,” Alec wanted him to know. It sounded like a lie as it escaped his mouth, because being a shadowhunter was part of Alec. And Magnus had to come to peace with that. 

“I once swore to myself to never get involved in shadowhunter business again.” He said it more to remind himself, but he didn’t let go of Alec’s hand. 

“It’s already too late for that,” Alec couldn’t help but say, snorting.   
“I just have to figure it all out. I need time to clear my mind.” Magnus said and they continued walking without speaking. They still hadn’t looked at each other on the entire walk, but it didn’t feel awkward in any way. It felt so natural to be with each other, hold each other’s hand.

It was one of the warmest days in a long time, so there were many people outside, playing, sitting in the sun, enjoying the last bit of warmth before winter came. They couldn’t see the two glamoured boys, walking hand in hand like everything was fine. 

As they passed a park, Alec couldn’t help but smile as two kids played in a tree. He wanted to be carefree like they were, not to worry about all the things that didn’t even matter. Kids might hurt each other once in a while, but what mattered was that they always had the best intentions. 

“You don’t have to walk me back to the apartment, the institute is the other way,” Magnus interrupted Alec’s trail of thought, but then noticed how the shadowhunter seemed a bit startled at the words. He narrowed his eyes, but then smiled slightly. “Were you watching those kids, too?” 

“Yes,” Alec admitted. Then he turned around to finally meet Magnus’ gaze, stopping in his tracks. “I’ll walk you back, I don’t mind,” he explained further as he remembered what Magnus’ actual statement had been. 

“It’s really sweet of you, but I need to just think,” the warlock said. His face was so fair, looked so smooth and young. His cat eyes were clearly tired, but Alec saw something burn behind them that he had thought would disappear. 

Alec didn’t even think before he was taking a step closer, tightening his hand around the boy’s. “I’m just not ready to let you go yet,” he managed to explain in a soft, small voice. Why he was so affected, so scared of letting Magnus leave, was something he himself didn’t understand. Maybe it was just the fear of the warlock never coming back to him again. 

“I’m not telling you to, okay. I’m just asking you for time.” A wave of something went through Magnus eyes, then he released Alec’s hand before his own was cupping Alec’s face. Just the touch had Alec’s heart beat so fast that redness started to flush to his cheeks, heat filling him up. 

Then the soft lips were on his own, brushing them just slightly, but enough for everything in Alec’s body to melt. The soft touch got slower, more intense as Alec reached for Magnus’ hips, steadying himself so he didn’t slip away underneath the sensation. It was like his knees had turned to jelly and couldn’t keep him up any longer. 

He closed his eyes, disappearing from whatever was happening around him but the sweet feeling of Magnus’ lips and the strange sensation in his body. He wanted to cry and laugh all at once, like something was building inside of him that he had no control over. 

Just as quickly as it had started, it ended again. Magnus pulled back just enough for his mouth to be inches from Alec’s, their breath still on each other’s skin. Alec couldn’t open his eyes, he knew what he would find. And he knew how it would make his chest tighten. He swallowed. 

“You are coming back, right?” he almost whispered, he noticed how small and uncertain his own voice was, but couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“I need to figure all of this out first,” Magnus said and for some reason managed to keep it all under control. Alec had to open his eyes, had to look at those cat eyes. 

He nodded, pulling himself back, away from the warlock. If time was all he needed, time was something Alec was willing to give. As long as it might take, he was willing to give it. “Okay,” he said, but mostly to himself. And as Magnus turned his back at Alec and walked back to the apartment, Alec had to remind himself that this pain he was feeling inside his chest was love. This was how love felt, as painful as it might seem. 

And even though he might miss Magnus, even long for him at times, he was actually really lucky. Because most people didn’t have someone as special to miss.


	8. When pieces fall into place

“Hey, can I sit down?” someone asked carefully from behind Alec, causing the dark-haired shadowhunter to turn around, not expecting anybody to be up at this hour. He himself shouldn’t even be up, he wasn’t really doing anything useful, just reading a random book about ancient runes. 

“Yeah, alright,” he said as he saw that it was Jace with soft and messy curls falling into his face. He had clearly just woken up.

“What are you doing up now?” Jace asked as he squeezed down in a chair next to his brother, trying to catch a glimpse of the book in Alec’s hand. 

“Just reading this random book. I haven’t really been sleeping that much lately.” Alec closed it and placed it on the table where a cold cup of tea stood as well. “I like it better here at the library, it’s keeping me occupied.”

“Is it all of that with Magnus?” Jace carefully asked as he pulled one leg underneath his body, looking a bit tired. 

Alec sighed. “I don’t really want to talk about it,” he admitted, just the sound of his name causing a sting in Alec’s chest to appear. And it was so stupid, because it had been almost three weeks since they had gone for that walk together, kissed as they parted and Magnus had said that he just needed time. 

But time was not helping Alec, time was not fixing the pain he felt. And honestly, with every second that passed, Alec felt his heart break, realizing that he might not even come back. Three weeks was a lot of time to think.

“I still don’t understand how he figured it out. I would never have guessed,” Jace wondered out loud, but his eyes were still on Alec. Even with everything happening with the clave, Alec still had to think for a second before he realized what exactly it was that Jace meant. 

“He has been around for many years, he knows how the clave acts. I guess that is why he never trusted them,” Alec explained.

“He’s not the only one. Nobody really trusts the clave anymore, not after what they did.” Just thinking about it made Alec stiffen, he had been blaming the clave for everything ever since what had happened in the glass hall. It was like he couldn’t let go of it, it was becoming an obsession. This hate he had started to feel was taking up so much space.

He reached out for his tea on the table, but as it touched his lips he remembered that it had been cold for a long time already and that he had just been sitting in his own thoughts for hours, probably.

“Do you think they have been hiding away more than just the holy book? Maybe they are keeping other important things from us?” Jace wanted to know, probably just to say something and break the silence. Usually, he wouldn't be like that, he was the type of person that Alec could always be around even to just sit in silence and feel each other’s presence. Maybe some things had changed. It was probably just himself.

“I don’t know. I don’t even understand how they could get away with stealing the book and hiding it from us.”

“Just, the set up they made, it was so… believable. They had gone through a lot of trouble to have us fooled.” Jace said, tiredness in his golden eyes.

“Jace,” Alec said softly, frowning slightly at his blonde brother sitting in his pajamas. “Why are you really here?”

The words made Jace look uncertain, gaze flickering as if looking for words. And it wasn’t because Alec wanted him to leave, it was just that something was burning inside of Alec and Jace sitting there, pretending like things were fine, it made everything worse. 

Finally his brother sighed, pulling on his long pajama-sleeves so they were covering his hands. “I just don’t want you to be all alone with your feelings. I know you are hurting.”

Once the words were spoken, it eased something in Alec. Maybe it was wrong of him to think that he had to walk around with this burden on his shoulders, maybe it was about time he talked to people about it instead of trying to hide it. Because it was impossible, something as painful shouldn’t be held within. 

“Well, thank you, that actually means something,” he admitted. 

“Magnus will come back eventually, once he realizes how special you are,” Jace reassured, reaching out a hand to put on his brother’s shoulder. They weren’t usually the kind of brother’s who showed that they cared about each other through love, more often it was through irony and teasing. 

But Alec like it, he appreciated his brother’s presence. However, it was like the words didn’t reach him. “Maybe,” he said softly, doubt in his tone. It was too painful to think about what he was going to do if Magnus didn’t come back.

“Alec, I’ve been meaning to apologize to you.” Jace shifted in the chair so he was looking directly at Alec, arm still resting on his shoulder, supporting the dark-haired shadowhunter. Jace swallowed. “I know you think I owe this apology to Magnus for how I treated him, and I do. But I wasn’t fair to you, either, I should have told you about it right from the start.”

“It would have been nice, yeah, but I can’t force you to tell me everything that happens in your personal life,” Alec said, though he still felt a little bit betrayed. Maybe it was more the jealousy, the thought that Magnus and his brother would have a history together, even if things between Magnus and Alec would work out eventually. 

“I’ll tell you stuff like that from now on!” Jace stated. “And I’ll apologize to Magnus, too.”

“He’ll probably not want to talk to you.” Alec was just staring into the air, the thoughts filling his head. So much had happened, too much for Alec to even catch up with it. Everything had changed, the ground he stood on had been ripped away. And with everything happening, he couldn’t afford to be mad at Jace because of something his brother had done two years ago. 

“I know that. But for what it is worth, I regret what I did.” Jace explained softly, pulling Alec back to what was happening. The library only lit by a small lamp at the desk, the wind resounding on the windows. Jace, tiredness in his eyes. “And I was really ashamed of it. I wanted no one to know about it.”

“Ashamed of kissing another guy?” Alec asked with a hint of hurt in his tone. 

“Nono, never because of that.” Jace’s eyes had widened, fear spreading behind them. “Don’t ever think that.”

“I still don’t understand why you would do it,” Alec said. He had told Jace weeks ago that they should just pretend like it had never happened and not let it ruin their relationship, but he hadn’t been able to let completely go of it. It was on his mind whenever he looked at his brother, even when he tried to force it back. 

Soft curls were in the golden eyes as Jace sighed, head dropping slightly. “I was just really stupid,” he said. Hesitating, he pulled back his hand to play nervously with the edge of his sleeve. “Have you ever, like… met a girl. And you didn’t even know why, but you found her interesting. Not like you just want to sleep with her, more like, you’re not sure if this girl is waking up something inside of you you never thought existed?”

“You know I’m gay, right?” Alec said stupidly, because this question was absolutely ridiculous. 

“I know, but… Have you ever met a girl like that?” 

Alec thought about it for a moment, remembered how it felt to kiss a girl from the one or two times it had happened. None of them had woken anything inside of him, they had all just been random kisses before Alec had known anything about his own sexuality. Thinking about it, they had all been rather repelling. 

“Never,” Alec stated, feeling a little bit disgusted as he remembered the feeling of it. 

“I’m not talking about the girls you’ve kissed. The thing is, you meet her and you’re not really sure if you want to kiss her or not. You can’t really figure it out.”

Alec quickly realized what it was that Jace meant, where this was going, and it hit him like a punch to the stomach. And it annoyed him, because he had never been the jealous type, but this was just too much. “So you’re telling me that you kissed Magnus because you wanted to?” Alec asked, trying not to let it show how it affected him. He failed. 

His brother looked uncomfortable, biting his lower lip. “Sorry, I shouldn’t even have brought it up.”

“No, if you find Magnus interesting and thinks that he ‘wakes up’ something inside of you, you should-”

“Alec, stop, that wasn’t what I meant,” Jace interrupted, and the tiredness in his eyes was telling Alec that he just wanted to finish talking. Maybe Alec was being too harsh, emotions were just so hard to control. Especially this new sensation that might be jealousy, but he told himself not to get carried away, sighing.

“Sorry,” he said. 

“I had just never met someone as powerful and desired as him, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit intimidated. I thought that maybe I liked him.” Jace explained slowly, looking almost ashamed of admitting how he had felt.

“So you decided to kiss him.” Alec finished the story. 

“Yes.” The air between them tensed for a short second, the word hitting Alec like everything about Magnus had a tendency of doing. “But it made me realize that I didn’t like him at all. It felt so wrong.”

“That’s what I don’t get,” Alec wondered out loud, mostly just speaking to himself. “Because whenever he kisses me, it’s like my body melts. It feels like he’s the only reason I exist in those moments. And I can’t let go of that feeling, it’s all over me.”

“That’s because you love him,” Jace explained, a smile playing on his mouth. His golden eyes were almost watering with tiredness, but at the same time he wasn’t leaving. 

Alec sighed, shaking his head. “I know that. But it doesn’t make it feel any less painful.” He had to let it all in at some point, he couldn’t just keep on pushing it away. And now, it was like he finally allowed it to reach him. “I just miss him so much, Jace,” He said quietly.

“He’ll come back to you, I just know it.” his brother reassured.

“Do you really think so?” Alec heard the hope in his own voice, realizing that it must have come back at some point. 

“Of course, Alec. You’re absolutely amazing and Magnus knows that. But he is a warlock. Three weeks is no time for him.”

As if Jace’s word were getting too him, convincing him, he let out a soft laugh, finally smiling a bit. “Thanks,” he said with a small, but grateful voice. He had to remind himself that he was lucky to have Jace as well. 

“But now, we have to go to bed. No more staying up and feeling sad, alright?” And Alec nodded, feeling the tiredness start to spread in his own body for the first time in a while. And it felt pleasant. Maybe he would be able to get some sleep for once.

He had to put his mind somewhere, and Alec had noticed how the whispers had started in the corners of the shadow world. Shadowhunters from everywhere wanted the clave to give up their power, and Magnus had been absolutely right. 

These lies they had told, it was beginning to start something. Something that might very well lead to an uprising. People demanded complete visibility,.

And the system wasn’t strong enough, it was starting to collapse beneath the pressure. 

Alec had been trying to keep his focus on the people who were willing to go against the clave, fight for the right to know what was happening. And even more important, fight for the downworlders’ rights as well.

Even with all of the hardcore training and late evenings with books in his hands, he hadn’t been able to let go of the thought of Magnus. 

It wasn’t the kind of pain anymore it had been to begin with, it had turned into this constant feeling of missing a piece of himself. He had completely shut himself off to feelings, forcing himself to just concentrate on his training. If they wanted the slightest chances against the clave, they had to come prepared. 

No doubt the clave knew what was coming, but they were almost drained of all their power. One wrong move and it would be the glowing ember starting the fire.

Downworlders and shadowhunters all over the world had started to contact the institute, giving their support and agreeing that it was about time things changed. 

Some nights Alec was so close to just give in to his feelings and show up at Magnus’ apartment, but he knew he couldn’t. It was only this one little thing that Magnus was asking from him, to give him time, and if he couldn’t even do that… well, then maybe he didn’t deserve Magnus. 

He was in the training room one evening, already tired and drained from having kept himself busy for hours. It felt like whenever he trained hard enough, he could push the emptiness aside. 

His hair was dripping wet with sweat and he had taken off his shirt some time ago, every muscle aching as he moved his body swiftly. At this point, it felt like the punching bag was hurting him even more than he was hurting it. 

“Alec, remember to take a break,” Izzy had shouted about an hour ago as she had gone back to her room to grab a quick shower and get some rest. 

“Of course,” he had said, but it wasn’t just like that. He needed this, enjoyed the pain in his body because it wasn’t caused by the gorgeous golden cat-like eyes and the thought of Magnus. 

Stopping for a moment, he looked down at his hands. They were blue and red and every single vein in his knuckles had probably bursted underneath the pressure. He reached for his stele for the second time today, drawing an iratze on his arm and watched as his skin healed. 

It didn’t heal the burning sensation in his muscles, clearly showing that they couldn’t take this anymore. But it wasn’t stopping him from throwing another punch, then another, forgetting himself in his training. 

He had completely lost track of time and zoned out as he heard a deep voice speak from behind him. 

“They said that you might be here,” it said and Alec recognized it right away. He stopped in his tracks, feeling almost ashamed of how tired and drained and completely beaten up he must look in that moment. 

“Magnus,” he exhaled as he turned around, looking into the cat eyes and realizing how how well the boy before him looked, even with everything that had happened. “You’re here.”

“Of course. I told you I was coming back, didn’t I?” Magnus said teasingly, but Alec hardly even noticed because he was so caught up in the emotions filling his body. He couldn’t control his heartbeat. 

“I was just starting to doubt it,” he admitted, not because he wanted Magnus to feel bad, but because it was true. 

Something flashed through the warlock’s eyes and he searched for words. “I haven’t really been in a good place. But thank you for giving me the time I needed. I know it must have been hard.”

As he had said the words, his gaze was wandering around the room, fixing on a towel on the floor. He reached for it and threw it at the shadowhunter. 

Alec caught it. “It’s just impossible not to think about you all the time. I can’t focus on anything.”

The warlock sighed, sadness wavering through his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, and Alec felt his chest burn just looking at him. He dried off his hair and his face, knowing it must be dripping with sweat. 

“Did you at least take time to think about us?” Alec wanted to know. He wasn’t harsh in his words, he was just hurt and trying not to let it show.

“I haven’t been thinking about anything but us,” the warlock hurried to say, voice honest and vulnerable. He walked up closer to the shadowhunter, hesitating just slightly before reaching for Alec’s arm. “And I know being with you also means having to involve myself in shadowhunter business.”

“And are you ready for that?” It was like the question was so dangerous to ask, but needed to be. 

“I’ve never really met a shadowhunter who was willing to sacrifice anything for someone like me. A downworlder-”

“Magnus, you’re not just a downworlder,” Alec said, cutting off Magnus mid sentence. He hardly realized what he was doing before one hand was cupping Magnus’ face, the towel falling to the ground. He couldn’t stop, couldn’t control himself around this boy. “You’re so much more than that. You’re absolutely perfect, you know?”

A shy smile found its way to Magnus’ face, heat flowing to his cheeks. His breath had gone shaky “I love you, Alexander. And I don’t even care about you being a shadowhunter, because we’ll figure it out,” he blurted out as his hands were reaching for Alec’s face as well, warmth filling Alec’s body.

“I love you too,” Alec whispered, then leaned up to place a soft kiss on Magnus’ lips. The slight touch was enough to have sparkles go through Alec’s body, everything in the room but them disappearing. For just a moment, he couldn’t even think about anything but the soft lips. Without thinking he was putting in more force, feeling almost as if he couldn’t get enough, needing the warlock closer. 

He felt strong hands move to hold around his waist, pressing their bodies together as their lips were on each other. There were just so many emotions surfacing inside of Alec and he didn’t even know what to do with them, because his sight was starting to blurry and he had to close his eyes and shut everything else but Magnus out.

His fingers dug into the dark soft hair and Magnus responded by opening his mouth just slightly, allowing their tongues to meet. 

Just the feeling had everything inside of Alec tensing, arousal starting to pump through him. But he couldn’t stop it, it was like he was addicted to the sweet sensation of Magnus’ mouth. As Magnus’ tongue was playing with Alec’s lower lip, a soft moan was trapped between their mouths. 

It just made the warlock press his body even closer to Alec’s, one hand trailing downwards to grab the firm ass. Another sweet sound escaped his mouth at the touch and Magnus dug his fingers in deeper.

Alec wasn’t able to stop the lust that was creeping up on him, and he knew it couldn’t just be him. But just as he was melting underneath the sweet kiss, Magnus slowly pulled back, hand going upwards to steady the shadowhunter by the waist again.

“Maybe we should stop before we start having sex in the training room,” the gorgeous warlock almost whispered, voice rough, and without even opening his eyes, Alec knew that his lips would be swollen and red, eyes dark and lustful. 

“No, don’t stop,” Alec said, pulling slightly at the dark hair. “Kiss me again.”

A small chuckle escaped Magnus’ mouth before it was on Alec’s again, but this time only softly, steadily, swiftly. Alec wanted to deepen the kiss once again, but Magnus was pulling apart long before Alec was ready to let him go.

“You’re really cute,” Magnus said underneath a soft laugh, and Alec smiled, opening his eyes to look at the gorgeous boy in front of him. Butterflies were in his stomach as they stood there, Magnus’ strong arms around his waist to hold him close. 

“I’m sorry for being so sweaty and disgusting.” Alec apologized as he remembered how hard he had just been training. His palms felt sticky from where they were in Magnus’ dark, gorgeous hair.

“You’re not disgusting,” Magnus stated. “But you’re really sweaty.” He teased, squeezing Alec a little bit closer. “I don’t really mind, though, I like this.”

“Me too,” Alec said softly. 

“How about we go to my place, you can grab a shower and we can just have a night in.”

“How about we grab a shower together?” Alec suggested teasingly, raising one eyebrow. The warlock smiled widely, eyes filling with love as he leaned in and kissed Alec on the cheek. 

“That sounds lovely.” And Alec felt how he relaxed in the embrace, for once feeling safe in Magnus’ strong, golden-brown arms. 

Admittingly, along the way Alec had often wished to hold onto a moment forever when he was around the gorgeous warlock. Maybe it was because that that moment had meant something special, had made him feel a certain way. 

But in the end it all came down to just one thing. Alec had been so scared of where the two of them stood once the moment would end. 

For the first time, he found himself in a moment he didn’t want to stay in forever. Not because he wasn’t loving it, but because he knew many more would come in the future. 

So he just enjoyed it as he lay with his head on Magnus’ shoulder on the couch, Chariman Meow purring happily from Magnus’ lap. A strong hand was in his wet hair, caressing, and they both smelled like soap and shampoo and freshly showered. 

He felt a soft kiss to his forehead and he let the feeling stay in his body, not trying to force it away. 

“All downworlders are talking about you, you know?” Magnus said quietly into Alec’s wet hair.

“Why?” the shadowhunter asked. 

“They’ve heard about a shadowhunter starting a revolution against the clave. And they almost can’t believe it,” Magnus clarified, his voice sounding both proud and full of adoration. 

“It’s not really a revolution. It’s just about time that things start to change.” Alec cuddled in closer to Magnus, enjoying the warmth of his body. 

“They’ve been waiting for someone to speak up for some time. You know, all of them are on your side. They’ll stand beside you.”

“And what about you?” Alec asked, turning his head so he could look at the tall warlock at his side. The cat-like eyes were so soft and caring. 

“Do you really have to ask?” Magnus joked, smiling at the boy in his arms. 

“Maybe not,” Alec admitted. “But I just want to hear you say it. I’m still figuring out everything.”

Something flashed through the golden eyes, then soft lips were on Alec’s, only brushing them slightly. He felt the hand in his hair, fingers digging into the dark, wet mess, and Alec closed his eyes.

As he pulled back only inches it was like Magnus’ breath felt almost electrical on Alec’s skin and the shadowhunter curled in closer, nose brushing the warlock’s golden-brown neck. 

“I trust you, Alexander. Whatever you do, I’ll support you,” Magnus explained and maybe it wasn’t much, but it meant more than anything to Alec. Those words were all that seemed to matter.

“Thank you,” he exhaled, head resting on the taller boy’s shoulder. He knew that it wasn’t going to be easy, whatever it was that was going to come from now on. But he was ready to face it, because he had Magnus by his side. 

And Alec trusted Magnus as well, he trusted him to stay, to support Alec and stand by his side if war was coming. Whatever it was, he wasn’t scared of it, because this gorgeous warlock was keeping him safe.

And even though Alec treasured that moment, loved everything about it, he wasn’t scared of leaving it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aand, done. This was really fun to write, thanks for following along. Hopefully, our boys will make it through this uprising that Alec has started. And everything turned out fine with Izzy and Jace, even though Alec's siblings can be idiots at times.


End file.
